Feeling Old Before My Time

Feeling a bit pants today. Or should that be big pants?

Menopausal symptoms are getting me down and I've just had to start using Replens to moisturise that which can no longer moisturise itself. Bit alarmed that I'm at risk of 'atrophy' if I don't keep it up - as if being chopped about wasn't enough. Cry

On top of that I said in passing to a friend that I've noticed that the hair all over my body is much finer than it was (apart from my bristly chinny-chin-chin, of course). I was thinking that was quite a positive until she said that she used to work in an old folks home and most of the old ladies had virtually no body hair apart from a few pubic wisps. "Oh good, something else to look forward to", I thought. (She wasn't being insensitive btw, she's just the friend I can have this kind of conversation with)

On the plus side, the hot flushes seem to have subsided a bit, I am only waking up sweaty once or twice a night (which is when I need to pee anyway) and I haven't bitten anyone's head off for about a week, but I still feel I could blow any time.

All in all I feel 70, going on 90 and about as sexy as a cow pat. Just sayin.


I know the feeling Hun! Xx

I know the feeling Hun! Xx

Aww Rosehip, I had to laugh reading your post but only because you punctuated it with humour and I think its humour thats getting me through right now too.  I haven't quite got into a habit of using replens but know I must.  Am keeping up with the dilators but just hate it all and got very down about it at the weekend!  My hubby has been great but I just dont think he realises the extent of the damage caused down below!! My joints also ache but I must admit not really had sweats or bad mod swings.  Am hoping for a blood test during my 3 monthly check to determine my menopause .  Just dont want this "broken" body, want the old me back.  We'll get on with it though won't we cos thats what we do isnt it?

Hope you're felling better soon



Yes we do Andrea - more than that we have our lives and a future and lots to be positive about. We just have to actively remind ourselves of that sometimes.

I am now going to meet a friend who I've only properly got to know since I've been ill. We're going to sit in her garden, drink margaritas andb (probably) tell dirty jokes. There's still lots of fun to be had!

Have a good weekend. xxx


Hi Rosehip

Lol, ain't menopause fun! They tell you that, free from the fear of pregnancy, many women find post menopause a great time. Hah!  They lied!

I'm now 55 and still not through the menopause.  It started at age 52 with hot flushes and periods spaced further and further apart.   Two a year at the moment.  The hot flushes have half killed me this year - leaving me totally exhausted after breaking out into a sweat repeatedly throughout the day.  Off with the clothes, brrrrr. on with the clothes, phewww off with the clothes, brrrrrrr on with the clothes phew.  and on and on!    I now have night sweats waking me repeatedly as well as hot sweats during the day.  Fantastic!

And yes - where did all my body hair go?  Well I still have hairy knees (TMI I know) but my eyebrows have mostly departed, my arms are hair free, and the pubes - well they have not only thinned right out, they have gone limp and floppy.  Not at all themselves these days.

On the other hand - I have hair on my chinny chin that could make a good anchor cable, and every morning I have to closely examine my top lip sideways in the bathroom mirror, because some of the hairs have gone haywire and now grow,,,, and grow,,,,,, and grow, until they are half an inch long and waving in the breeze.

Four years ago I went through a phase of being in severe pain from a total drying up of my vagina and external genitalia.  I literally could not sit down without a burning discomfort.  Being a cheapskate I took to pushing a blob of E45 inside every day for several months.  Eventually things recovered a bit but the old fanny isn't what it used to be - it's shrunk!  The nurse has to use a very small speculum for my annual smear test.  It's very painful even so. Ask for a smaller speculum if they come at you with a giant instrument of torture.   Sex for me would be out of the question these days because :-

1.  No lubrication.

2 Atrophy of vagina and now very delicate tissue.

3 Absolutely NO libido.  Even a good looking young man fails to produce any interest. 

5 Almost complete loss of sensation in my clitoral tissues - might as well be rubbing my leg for all the feeling I have these days.  Arousal is next to impossible, lubrication doesn't happen, and orgasms are a mere flicker of sensation not worth the effort.

And along with the loss of sensation - I have loss of muscle tone - both stress and urge incontinence these days.  Not to mention fissures at the back door.  BAH!

Oh I do so love not having to worry about periods - I now have plenty of time to worry about no orgasms, damp knickers, missing eyebrows, thinning hair on my head, aching joints, sore behind.

And  people keep saying "after you" when I catch the bus. So I know that I now look "OLD".  Sucks to be menopausal! 

I say we ask the government to abolish menopause.

Hi Jo - I just saw your post and you did make me laugh.

I'm pleased to report that I am doing much better these days. I got prescribed with a topical oestrogen cream for the fanny and that's really helped the dryness and seems to have perked my bits up a bit. The hot flushes have mostly gone, although I do still overheat from time to time.

Saw my consultant a few weeks ago and he said I should be fine to have oestrogen only HRT but that's not what I was told previously so I'm a bit confused. Not sure I need it. There's a menopause clinic at my local hospital so I might see if I can get referred there for some advice as my GP seems a bit sketchy on what should happen with someone in my situtaion. Although my bits still work, like you, I have zero libido and I did read here somewhere that testosterone can help with that. I'm not ready to give up on a sex life so I  want to get my mojo back somehow.

In terms of the damp knicker thing, I have been doing pilates to try to strengthen the old pelvic floor (and also do belly dance which is great for it too). My goal is more to avoid prolapse but avoiding leakage is desirable too. Next week, I'm starting a 6 week exercise programme called 'FouFou Fun Club' (I joke not) which is all about pelvic health and the other women in  the group are either post menopausal or struggling after childbirth.  I'll post separately about it once I have had a go.

Anyway, I was recently talking to a couple of wonderfully vibrant post menopausal women and they were talking about having come to terms with it and feeling that this is a time in their lives when they feel that they can really concentrate on doing and being whatever they want to be now rather than worrying about what they have lost.

Sounds good to me. Let's try that. Let's start with this poem: http://www.poemhunter.com/poem/warning/



Thank u, u made me laugh xxx

 (If u don't laugh, then u cry, don't you?)

Hi not been on since all clear we get threw cancer then have to cope with menopause  all my joints ache to hopebu well x