Im hoping there's someone who's had a similar experience to me and can give a little guidance as to why I feel so low?
At 25, this was only first smear and I was already worried there'd be problems as my family history is worrying. Both my mother and grandmother have had cervical cancer and my mother was diagnosed at just 30. On receiving the news of an abnormal smear I instantly thought the worst. I went with my partner and my mother for the follow up appointment but did not expect to be told they would need to proceed there and then.
After having LLETZ for CIN3 on November 18 2013, I was physically in a little pain for a few days having found the procedure uncomfortable and not very dignified but not severely emotional.
About a week later I began to feel irritated and put it down to anxiety of awaiting the biopsy result.
Once the result arrived all clear I assumed I'd just ride out the 4-6 week healing process and get back to my normal self.
Approaching the 4 week stage now and I feel like I've been hit by a bus!
Emotionally I'm like a roller coaster. My partner of six years is extremely supportive but I feel I'm driving him crazy with my constant mood swings and uncontrollable burst of tears. I don't think it helps that I'm three days into my first period since the operation and I'm bleeding so heavy which is not normal for me at all. Although I've actually lost weight and I'm normally a confident person, I've never felt so unsexy, wearing these horrible pads and feeling bloated all the time.
Trying to fight off feeling low, I've been working ridiculous amounts of hours to keep my mind occupied but feel I might have drained myself instead of confronting what my real fears are? Honestly, I just don't know if how I'm feeling is normal after this procedure?
I feel exactly the same although I had first smear at 27 had severe dyskaryosis result..I thought is this karma for putting it off.i managed to get into a cancellation a week n half before was due colposcopy so thought yay no more waiting but now I find in panicking on biopsy results even tho nurse was pretty sure in findings..its been week tomorrow since had it n im sick of pads n feeling smelly n horrible but better than having thise cells stillxxx
Hi. I can't comment what it feels like to feel after getting the all clear as I'm only 2 weeks post LLETZ and still awaiting my results. But I can certainly understand your feeling of being low. I wasn't expecting this to completely absorb me in like it has. I'm normally a positive person but have been negative on almost every front, the crying, the physical pain etc, and my partner has been brilliant and I sometimes find myself fibbing to them with positivity that I don't actually mean just to make it less hard for them as they are going through this too I guess. The only advice I can really give is to try and remember your results are clear and what fantastic news that is for you. Your body will eventually heal itself, the bloated feeling will go when the bleeding stops, and you won't have to wear those annoying pads (or nappies as I am referring to them!) anymore. I believe mind over body is quite a strong thing so try an remain positive and hopefully you will start to feel better as time goes by. I think if you are really worried it might be worth talking to your GP? Perhaps the whole ordeal of going through this has made you feel quite low in more than just a physical sense and they could offer solutions to help you. I hope that you recover fully, try to remain positive :)
Give yourself time, we all tend to focus so much on how recovery effects us physically and getting back on our feet that I think we tend to neglect the emotional effects that this process seems to have. Its a lot to take in and I know for me, I think I though there would be some magic wand that came with the news it wasnt cancer. In reality I didnt feel any better and struggled to understand why I didnt feel like a weight had been lifted dont get me wrong it was a huge relief to know I was in the clear, but I still felt like I had been knocked sideways. I have a wonderful partner who has been so supportive and allowed me to just take each day as it comes, I can feel my stress levels starting to rise as my next check up draws closer but I know I will get through it. Dont be too hard on yourself you will feel better with time.
Thank you so much for you comments and kind words ladies. I find it so liberating that women who are total strangers can be so caring towards one and other. i hope you all get the results you hope for and wish you all the best for the new year. I'm trying to be more positive about the things I do hand in my life and feel lucky to be supported by such a great partner and family.
Without sounding grateful that I'm not on a boat alone - it is good to hear that this seems to a normal response, I feel drained, anxious, uncomfortable and all the rest of it but I'm feeling like I'm overreacting too... I don't have a comforting supportive system just a buck up your ideas you've got northern blood in you kind of support system. I am thankful that I have folk around to keep me grounded but sometimes I feel misunderstood - I've stayed positive and the one time I get upset it's like I've been whinning about it since it happened! It's such a nice place to come and read that your not alone and other women have an understandunderstanding of you and your journey as you have an understanding of theirs I hope you start to feel back to your happy self again, I wish you all all the best in 2014 x
Hi peaches, I totally agree with you about feeling dramatic and thinking your blowing things out of proportion when you get emotional and I do feel silly about it. I am feeling a lot better now although the anxiety of the next stage hasn't gone away and I don't think it ever will given my family history. I am however thankful we have a place to come and vent with women sharing our experiences. All the best to you X
