Feeling lost!

Hi Everyone!
I am new to this and I suppose I have taken to this forum in the hope that I am not alone in the way I am feeling.

I was given the ‘all clear’ in September and in the first instance there was the obvious pure joy and celebrations that the treatment has done it’s job however in recent weeks I have felt completely lost… I am 27 am due to the treatment I am now unable to have children and I am also not it a relationship so I am kind of feeling a lack of purpose to my life right now… it’s like the cancer stage is over so now what do I do?!?

I have a wonderful job and a lovely house, great family and friends so really I shouldn’t be feeling this way… but I feel now that I am wasting my life as I have gone back to exactly the same life I was living before diagnosis. I feel like I should be going off on some big adventure and making the most of my time, but then also tied to where I am as I can’t go far due to the ongoing hospital appointments.

Has anyone else felt like this? is it just a phase that will pass?

Sorry for the rambling!

Katie x

Hi Katie :-)


I know exactly how you feel. A cancer diagnosis followed by an all clear is like a second chance to make your life worthwhile and boy wouldn't you be silly to waste it. Well yes. But you can't just up sticks and go off exploring the Amazon any more than I can, but you can share your new-found positive exuberance with others and put something back. I live so remotely that the best I can do is come on here and support other women who are frightened, but maybe you could do something voluntary at your local hospital? You never know, you might even end up meeting the love of your life :-) But that's just one suggestion, there are loads and loads of different things you could do to help make other people's lives happier than they are, you just need to think about what sort of thing you would like to be doing in your spare time.

Be happy :-)


i too feel exactly the same so your not on your own , I had 1b1 cc diagnosed December 2013 with a recurrence this year , after chemo and radio my last ct scan came back clear , I feel very lucky to be alive but I've gone back to work and and kind of back in my normal routine.  I feel I should be doing some big adventure but finances won't allow it so I'm trying to enjoy every moment I have with my family , saving for weekends away and trying not to get as stressed as I did before , I'd love to do some voluntering so maybe I will .  I just wanted to let you know your not alone in feeling the way you do 


Greeni xx 


Yes its normal,there is even a whole section about

it on macmillan and cancer research site.So,try and

go with it,see how things pan out.A time to reflect

on the things you have been through and how you

feel about the future is a good process.Out of bad

in my experience comes good.

All the best

Becky x

Hi Katie.  

It's funny how we feel isn't it. 

My friend told me I should do a bucket list of things I want to do when I get better. The only thing I want to do is get better. I live (or was living) a life that I enjoyed.  I didn't conquer everest but I did a couple of fun runs a year and enjoyed them. I didn't have a top job. I'm a childminder, but I was the best childminder I could be (graded outstanding by ofsted btw).

Did you enjoy your life and your job pre diagnosis?  If so then focus on that. Focus on how you can continue to enjoy your job. Put effort and energy into your friends and family and make sure you are an integral part of their life. 

One thing I have learned in this process is how much I mean to 2 of my friends and also how much they mean to me. We always have made an effort with each other (well it's not an effort really ) but when this is over I know we'll be closer.

Do you have any sporting hobbies or special skills?  Youth organisations are always wanting volunteers,  whether it's coaching a children's netball team or becoming a brownie leader. It gives you a great sense of achievement.  I used to coach athletics to children under 11 and I still have lovely relationships with some of the children 6 years after stopping.

Joining a sports club yourself if often good,  running is a great team to be involved in if you can find a good club.


Tivoli, I just want to say thank you so much for coming back on. Your knowledge and support is amazing. You do bring such a lot of comfort to people.  It must be hard coming on after you have been cleared because I guess it's a part of your life you want to put behind you. You're fantastic and of I don't say it again, thank you x 

I love it Philleepa :-)