Hi melanie. I know exactly where you are coming from. I feel like I'm using all my mental strength to get me through the treatment, try not to worry about the future (impossible ) & be strong for my kids. Sometimes it just is a lot to ask for.
I've been fine today until my brother in law phoned. I broke down cos I've not spoken to him since diagnosis. I just don't want to talk about it to people I know because when it's over I just want to lock it away in a box.
Bad days are going to happen. I suppose we have to accept that. It's hard to make plans for the future at the moment but we need something to keep us going. I've booked panto tickets today for xmas eve. Obviously I wonder whether or not I'll be there but if not then my family will carry on the tradition.
Is there anything that can help your cystitis?
Also with regards the wee, don't think badly of me but I have a she wee in the car and an empty bottle. Just in case I get caught short on journeys. Tbh I've always had it cos we do a lot of camping and I refuse to get out if the tent in the night and traipse through the camp site for a wee. Can you get out for a walk in the park. Even 20 mins or so? You'd be suprised how many decent bushes there are to wee behind (always had a week bladder so am an expert - heaven help me at the end of my treatment ).
Lots of cafes have toilets so maybe just a trip for a coffee. I'm hoping to get to our local dunelm store tomorrow. It has a coffee shop so I want to sit there like a normal person and drink coffee. Hopefully no one who knows me will come in.
Sorry to go on but, have you tried tena lady knickers? I discovered them a while ago with my bleeding problems. It's weird at first but you get used to them. They're not suitable for big wees (as far as I know) but they're great for if anything comes out before it should. Of course there's also the proper incontinence pads but I haven't tried them yet.
I know it's embarrassing and not what you want but I am such a believer in being out of the house. Fresh air and exercise is a great way of getting rid of depression. My sister had MS and really struggled to get out of the house due to her illness and it was the depression rather than the illness that finished her off.
Also, I think at the moment there's such a lot of things on TV relating to cancer and I want to cry every time I see them. I don't know if my illness has made me more aware.
I'm sorry to go on mel, I just don't like to see depression set it and if getting out of the house means wearing a nappy then I really think that's what we need to do.
It just stops us worrying
Oh and you can also get waterproof pants from sports shops. I have them anyway for my walking and taking the kids to football, they're great and with all this rain we're having, no one will bat an eyelid.
You're mostly through this now hon and you're my inspiration so we're in this together x