feeling alone

I am feeling very alone since i have been diagnosed. I live in nc with my husband, 12 hours away from my family and friwnds. Since i have been diagnosed my husband never discusses the issue with me. He will take me to my appointments and just sit in the csr, he has never come in and never spoken to my doctors about my situation. When i get home he lets me relax for the day sincd treatment exhausts me, but thd next day he is yelling at me to get up. What do i do?


Sorry to hear about your diagnosis & that you are feeling alone. This website is a great way of chatting with people who are in similar situations. It's great that you have found this website and are looking to find support this is an important first step- well done. Jo's trust have support groups around the country that you can also join, this will allow you to meet up with other people to share experiences & support, this could be useful for you. They also have opportunities for partners/ husbands to attend some events- perhaps you could mention that this would really help you by your husband going along with you (It would also prob be of great benefit for him too). In not sure where you live, I realise that you said nc- my geography isn't great- I started guessing Newcastle but then thought perhaps abroad????

Not sure how appropriate this is, but just incase there is a 'Lets meet 2013' event in Newcastle next Saturday 21st September- Its a day event for women (and a friend/ husband/ partner can join you too) they are offering 3 workshops throughout the day along with guest speakers. One of the workshops is specifically for parnters- themed 'how to support your partner and yourself' this could be of use.

This may just be your husbands way of dealing with things at the moment, in his heart im sure he wants to support you but perhaps is just not sure how to go about it. It is very difficult for partners at times as they feel helpless (this is what my partner said anyway). You will certainly get support here by using these forums.

I hope things improve for you, we are always here to listen and help where we can

Best Wishes

Here is the link to the Lets meet event organised by Jo's trust http://www.jostrust.org.uk/support/letsmeet  x

I'm so sorry that you are having such a bad bad time.

Life is so unfair at times and your husband is being unfair too. People say to me that they cannot imagine what I am going through but then I think of my poor hubbie and what he must be going through to. He talks to me, cries and tells me how he is feeling though. Your hubbie needs to do this too. If he is like my husband, he is petrified and really doesn't know what to say or do for the best and is keeping it all inside until he bursts at moments and takes it out on you. He must be blaming himself for not doing things right, blaming the world and everyone then feels guilty for bursting out at you and making you feel bad. I don't know, it's all a big pile of poo, isn't it?

He needs to talk though, if not to you then someone. Encourage him to read the info pages on the website (he may not wish to go on forum though) and read stuff on Macmillan and Cancer Research. Get him to write down a list of questions he wants to ask you rather than say them out loud, or write a letter to you to tell you what he is thinking. I don't know, it's late and I'm tired so sorry for waffling. Just try to get him to get what is eating him up inside out somehow because its not going to get better until he does. And that is so unfair on you.

Make sure you get it out to. Read stuff on here (I've found out so so much, a great forum for finding out how cc is really) and ask questions but make sure you talk to real people too, cry on them, scream rant and rave if it helps, we've all done it. I hope this helps.

Best of luck to you Dons x