Hi everyone,
So I recently got diagnosed with CC. It was only stage 1a1 and I was told that I had it but that they had already got rid of it when they did a lletz. Which is great news, but god I feel so sad and have such mixed emotions
Everyone keeps telling me that im lucky and it’s great im ok, but I don’t feel ok…
I feel like a fraud for feeling so sad when so many people are worse off than me, I feel guilty and disgusted at myself for feeling upset. Yes I had cancer but i’m ok… but I feel so low… I’m worried it will come back, and I’m worried that I will have to have a hysterectomy at some point… I think I’m in shock. I am 37 and have a 19 month old little girl, the 3 weeks leading up to diagnosis - from my smear, to lletz and a letter I received which told me nothing gave me lots of anxiety. Is there anyone in the same boat at all? I’d really like to talk to someone
Hello my darling.
Your feelings are so valid. The fear and sadness hits us all nomatter the stage. You have evey right to feel how you do!
Youve came to the right place. We’re here to support everyone - no matter your circumstance. Chat with us all you need hun xx
Hey!
I’m so sorry to hear you feeling so alone, you’re really not alone though, we’re all here to support one another. Congratulations though on such a fantastic result, however regardless, that doesn’t make your feelings invalid. Despite everything, it’s human nature to feel the way you feel and totally normal. It may take time for you to recover from the stress, as a diagnosis such as this is enough to send anybody into a frenzy, I know it would me and I would feel the same.
Don’t be hard on yourself, take each day as it comes and slowly you’ll start to feel better as the days go by. Lots of love 
- always here if you need to talk x
Hi @Jodeang, I recently got diagnosed also. They have told me Stage1a1 too but my LLETZ didn’t have clear margins so I had a second one, I’m currently waiting for the results. Also going to have an MRI scan. I can very much understand the mixed emotions and worry. Feel free to send me a private message if you want to chat more x
Also stage 1A1 (adenocarcinoma) but with further CGIN lesions remaining after my LLETZ. 2nd procedure booked for next week which will determine what type of hysterectomy I’ll need.
I have a 2y4m old little boy and a 15wk old little girl.
I’ve really struggled with how I feel about it all. There’s part of me that’s so grateful that I’ve had it caught really early (incidental finding at a stretch and sweep appt at 40wks pregnant) and that I’ve got a good chance of cure. But then there’s the ugly feelings that creep in when you least expect it….I get angry, anxious, devastated and man, I really fall into the depths of self-pity at times. Oh and the angry tears are just so ugly!! But it’s all normal and I’m lead to believe, even healthy, to have all these emotions.
There are quite a few of us on here that are still fairly young, with young families, or wanting kids that have early stage CC. Happy for you to message me at any point if you want a CC buddy. Seems so much more ‘doable’ with the support here!! Xx
Hi Jodeang, I’ve literally just been through the exact same thing as you! And I can totally sympathise with how you are feeling. I was up and down, happy, shocked, relieved and felt like a fraud, felt guilty to be upset (what right do I have to be upset was constantly going through my head.) The news is finally starting to sink in now. I got offered a hysterectomy which I am going to take (I’m scheduled in next month) . My other option was a minimum of yearly smears for at least 10 years. I took a massive mental hit through the whole whirlwind of everything that had went on, and personally for me I couldn’t cope with having to go through this every year. Hysterectomy isn’t for everyone though. You do what is right for you. I’m only 34 but I’ve been very fortunate to of had my children.
But really I wanted to come on and say your not alone! And please don’t feel guilty for how you’re feeling, you can’t control your emotions. It’s totally normal to feel the way that you are
