Feel like I'm going mad - children mentioned

I have been having regular smears since being 'invited' for them when I was old enough and they have always been clear. Had some post coital bleeding abiut 2 years ago and was treated for a cervical erosion using cryocautery. In June last year the abnormal bleeding was back and following a rather scary fast track referral to gynae oncology headed 'suspected carcinoma' colposcopy (clear), and elective cryocautery thought that was again the end of it.  However the bleeding continued and became almost a daily occurrence. I have been to my doctor every month for the past six months and have finally persuaded her to refer me back to gynae - she was adamant it would just go away and it didn't. I persuaded her for a TV ultra sound - clear, and have since had a routine 3 yearly smear that has just come back with boarder line abnormalities. I now have a referral for a colposcopy again.  

I actaully feel feel like my head is going to explode. The constant up and down, clear then not clear is really getting to me. How do others cope with this? I took some leave from work and spent two days just moping about and crying. To top it off, we have been TTC for over 12 months and im not sure it's even a good idea to keep trying when I have boarder line abnormalities. Anyone in a similar position? Don't know what to do for the best. 

Hello sweetheart,

Oh it's just so frustrating isn't it when your body just won't behave properly. The only advice I can offer is to say that borderline changes aren't usually that much of a big deal and if I were in your shoes I'd continue with the TTC routine as often as possible :-) Trying should cheer you up a bit and success should cheer you up even more :-)

Be lucky