Feel like a fraud

Hey, 

so after being diagnosed with a CIN 3 cells and the dr saying "I'm sorry but there is cancer there, very early but it's there" 

I wash shocked, and I did cry once I was back in my car but then a few days later I felt stupid! i feel like a fraud, especially after googling CIN 3, I understand my cancer ( if I can even say that) is super early. And I'm super lucky. My friends when having to explain it, and also my boss at work have only herd the word cancer. And are so supportive and asking if I'm okay, do I need anything, always checking up on me.
And I don't feel like I deserve that kinda treatment. As if I'm milking it ??‍♀️ 

im having a LLETZ & Colposcopy done under general at the hospital, I don't feel like I can sit here and say iv had cancer. 

anyone else at my level and has same feelings?

thank you

J x  

Hi!

 

If it is CIN3 only it's actually no cancer but a pre-stage . The cells could turn into cancerous if left untreated, so if your biopsy only says CIN3 than be lucky, its not cancer yet and they caught it in time 

Hey, 

oh. I mean my paper work has CIN 3-II 

im confused now as to why my surgeon has said "there is cancer there" ??‍♀️ and to why I got a cancer support leaflet with my discharge papers. I have to go back in a few weeks once she has my histology report back. I maybe need to double check with her what she actually found when. 


Surely I can't imagine her telling me I have early stage cancer if I don't! 

Surgeon also advised that she would of done a full hysterectomy due to the CIN3-II but with only being 28 and no children yet she advised LLETZ first.  

Hey,

CIN 1.2.3 and CGIN are not cancerous, they are pre cancerous cell changes, meaning the cells are abnormal but have not yet mutated to the point of being malignant. If you had cancer you would be seeing words like "invasive malignancy". They still offer hysterectomies in certain cases for CIN3/ CGIN etc depending on how much treatment you have had and if you have clear margins etc

.it sounds like you are confused based off the information you have been given so I would seek clarity if I were you.

Good luck 

 

Looking more through my paperwork... a letter sent to my GP that I received copy of sat "CIN3- II )with early stromal invasion ( invasive growth of tumour tissue, LLETZ advised first due to no children) 

if I'm brutally honest I couldnt understand the surgeon much, and reading that letter myself it was prob easier for her to go " it's early but cancer is there"

I was more going off the app letters leaflets and paperwork given, but have this copy GP letter has cleared up much. I will still ask questions on the follow app for the histology. 

thanks :) x 

Hey,

it can be very confusing understanding all the different names of things. My first biopsy came back as CGIN and invasive malignancy. I then had a cone biopsy under GA 2 months ago, was told it was only CGIN, no cancer. And yesterday I received a letter saying it actually was cancer and I have to go back to the Oncologist, 7 weeks after I got the all clear. What a rollercoaster!

i hope everything turns out okay for you x

Hey, 

yeah I thinks mad all the terminology, hats of to anyone who wants to specialise in this. 
Speaking with my mums friends who a nurse mostly in cancer wards she's said there is no black and white when it comes to cancer, there are so many different levels and types, and then she's known doctors to not even know what level to put someone at as the cancer is so early the cells have only just changed ( which I think is here I am at) but they are obligated to tell you the truth if it's ever seen on your records I guess. 

it is such a rolocaster! Hope you recover well.  

Yes. I've had two LLETZ now. Early stage in fact they removed all the visible cancer but the last biopsy foind high grade CGIN. Waiting for a hysterctomy though likely to be the new year due to COVID (I live in Hull where we have the highest rates at the mo). 

 

Had my consultation this morning came home bawling my eyes out feeling stupid and I used those words exactly - I feel like a fraud. 

But this is real. The cancer will come back eventualy - assuming there's no more already in the neck of the cervix. I've been keeping on keeping on coping and doing my job and this morning has just knocked the lid off all the anxieties that have been buried. 

 

I'm not a fraud and nor are you. This is scary and stressful. We're lucky it's early but it's still real. It could be worse. Here's hoping it isn't. They're confident a hysterectomy will sort it for me and I so hope so. I hope you're sorted as aoon as possible. 

But you're *not* a fraud not in the slightest. Nor are you alone xxx.

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Also nobody here can diagnose what you've got. If you didn't understand what the surgeon told you can you ring and ask? And you can also ask the experts here via the website - they can't diagnose your case but they can explain what things mean and what the medics are looking for and what leads rhem to this or that conclusion and help you understand what you've been told.

I only had a small lesion the surgeon removed it so right this second I appear not to have cancer but I do have pre-cancerous cells and as my dr said this morning they don't know there's not more cancer deeper in the neck of the cervix. I'm 57 so hysterectomy is a little less life changing for me. I don't know if they'd have said the same to me if I was your age 

You're allowed to be scared and upset. You're not a fraud. Cancer - pre-cancer - either way it's frightening and it's real and you're getting it treated and I hope it all goes really well for you xxx

I know exactly how you feel. I am so sorry you are going through this.

I just had a hysterectomy due to adenocarcinoma in SITU and high grade cervical changes with a positive margin on cone biopsy. During Pre-Op phone calls and in the hospital for pre-op they ask you a million questions with one of the questions being asked is do you have or have you ever been diagnosed with cancer? I of course answered no because my changes are pre-cancercous. However, everytime I answered no I would get the question as to why in the world are they are doing surgery and have to go through the entire story. It leaves a weird fraud like feeling...like I am making these huge changes to my body...all because of the chance that it might turn into cancer...or there might be cancer hiding somewhere. This is not to say that I am not feeling overly blessed to have caught this early...to have caught it at a point that surgery will most likely cure me and even though I might be missing a few organs...I am easily able to put this part of my life behind me. I am feeling SO lucky. However, it is also hard to explain to people that you do not have cancer...but you are taking such a huge precaution to avoid it...especially when it comes to taking time off work to heal and are really scared because the future of it all is still unknown and even though not one of us is promised another day...looking down this road as a possibility IS scary.

I don't know if this helps you in any way...just know that you are not alone in your feelings. I too am sitting here feeling like a fraud. I am watching a friend go through a horrible time with breast cancer and I don't even want to tell her what happened with me...because it all is so small in comparison. But that does not make me any less scared....

I will be praying for you! I hope your procedures go well, your healing goes well, and that soon this chapter is behind you.

You are not a fraud. Its scary. ❤️ 

Hi J, 

I am joining this thread much later than your post but I am going through a similar situation. I had a LLETZ in November after an abnormal smear, and even though he took a larger than usual biopsy, there were no clear margins. I was diagnosed with high grade CGIN invoving endocervical and stromal margins pluse high grade CIN II but importantly no cancer.

i was offered a second LLETZ but advised of the risks of blood loss, and scar tissue causing difficulties in detecting CGIN with smears, he said a hysterectomy would be a better option especially as I have finished my family. At just 43, I wasnt expected to have to deal with what friends have called such a radical solution to something that isnt cancer. 

I've googled everything about this online and have decided on the surgery despite being terrified of all the scare stories and risks ass. with surgery. I still dont know if it is the right decision - that will only be vindicated when I get the histology report from my uterus once its gone. But I do know that if i dont take this option now to prevent cancer and a harder battle later on, I risk not seeing my kids grow up. 

There are no easy decisions here. So I dont have any answers for you but wanted to share. It's amazing how many people have gone through this! After telling just three friends - two admited they had had LLETZ previously. 

Vx

 Hi Crown, early stromal invasion is cancer at stage 1a1. That's why my consultant told me last week and I've had my letter today. 

 

It really is disappointing that letters aren't written in non medical terminology for us to be able to understand.

 

I'd love to know how you are getting on now and how all of you other ladies are getting on too.

 

Hopefully the new forum will mean we are notified when someone responds to a thread as it's hard to keep up with them otherwise. X