Fed up :(

First of all, hi everyone, I am new around here...I wish I wasn't posting here, but hey oh. I'm sure you're all lovely.

Just need a bit of a vent and a chat really :S

I am 28, just had my smear come back as high grade changes. Went to have colposcopy, and they performed the lletz there and then.

This was two weeks ago.

I am really really fed up because:

1. Lletz was horrid for me. I did not react well to the anaesthetic and I just found the whole thing really upsetting.

2. I'm terrified I have got cancer. How has it gone from nothing on my smear when I was 25, to so much by way of changes?!

My mum died of cancer and I saw how awful her last few years were and I am terrified this is going to be me. I am also scared of losing my health - I am a health active person and I'm scared I might not be able to do things :( I am also worried because I'm single and just think that nobody is going to want to be with me :(

3. I'm sick of wearing granny panties because of the fear of bleeding all over them :(

4. I went for a run this morning because I have been going nuts without exercise and now I'm in loads of pain and bleeding :(

I just...feel really grumpy about the whole thing and people have been brushing it off as though it is nothing. I just feel like nobody understands :(

 

ps sorry i know there are people on here going through a lot worse, it is just that this has been such a massive shock to me.

Hi, 

It is quite normal and understandable to have all these fears and worries. I was only talking to a friend of mine today who had high grade changes 4 years ago. She said she found it uncomfortable And bled for about 4 weeks afterwards. She had to have the treatment twice I think but subsequent smears have all been negative. 

She is being followed up yearly for 10 years. 

I hope this helps a little and everything works out ok for you.

Rachel x

Thank you :)

 

I am in pain - after the LLETZ I felt dizzy for a few days and today I have been feeling dizzy again :( I just know it is affecting me at work but I don't really want to tell my boss about what has been going on, as it involves such an...intimate...subject.

I really could do without this nonsense! I was offered a job as an NQ solicitor on the day I had my LLETZ and all of this has just completely overshadowed any excitement I had about that.

Although I do not have a boyfriend right now, I do not know at the moment how I could ever let anyone go anywhere near me again after all of this :(

Hi,

just wanted to let you know I felt exactly the same. The bleeding lasted about 6 weeks for me and it was awful. Can't even imagine being intimate with someone after this. I just feel gross! And to make it worse my LLETZ result came back and I have to gI for a meeting with the consultant which is worrying. Hope it helps knowing your not on your own. Stay strong!!!

Good luck for your meeting Sunshine. Let us know how it goes.

 

As for me, has gone from bad to worse. I gushed blood at work today and ended up in the hospital, having the thing cauterized. I just want my god damn vagina back (sorry to put it so bluntly...).

I feel rank, feel like I lost quite a bit of blood. :(