First of all, hi everyone, I am new around here...I wish I wasn't posting here, but hey oh. I'm sure you're all lovely.
Just need a bit of a vent and a chat really :S
I am 28, just had my smear come back as high grade changes. Went to have colposcopy, and they performed the lletz there and then.
This was two weeks ago.
I am really really fed up because:
1. Lletz was horrid for me. I did not react well to the anaesthetic and I just found the whole thing really upsetting.
2. I'm terrified I have got cancer. How has it gone from nothing on my smear when I was 25, to so much by way of changes?!
My mum died of cancer and I saw how awful her last few years were and I am terrified this is going to be me. I am also scared of losing my health - I am a health active person and I'm scared I might not be able to do things :( I am also worried because I'm single and just think that nobody is going to want to be with me :(
3. I'm sick of wearing granny panties because of the fear of bleeding all over them :(
4. I went for a run this morning because I have been going nuts without exercise and now I'm in loads of pain and bleeding :(
I just...feel really grumpy about the whole thing and people have been brushing it off as though it is nothing. I just feel like nobody understands :(