Fear of sex after 2 LLETZ & inability to clear HPV

Hi ladies,

Please forgive me if it's wrong for me to post, as I'm aware that only having treatment for CIN I'm fortunate it hasn't been worse. I wasn't sure where to go for help (and if there even is any help for this sort of thing.)

I've had persistent CIN since 2009, without a clear smear, and 3 months ago had my second treatment - laser and LLETZ to treat several areas. I'm single and have been since shortly after this nightmare started. I'd love to have someone special in my life, but I can't face the idea of sex with a new partner. The consultant said that even I picked up more HPV it probably wouldn't make things any worse, as it seems the HPV virus could be buried deep in my cerivx and I can't seem to clear it. I know I am high risk long term of CC according to my doctor (I did ask, I wantd to know). But I stil can't face the idea of sex, I just have no interest it in, and yet I'm unlikely to find a man who'd accept that. But it's sex that has done this to me and I've just lost interest. I also feel weird inside after the last treatment, I don't really know how to describe it, like there's a big gap if that doesn't sound bizarre. 

Life just feels like nightmare :(

Thanks for reading.

 

Hey love

I am lucky enough to have a partner, but I totally understand how you feel. I have found it very very difficult to go back to having a "normal" sex life after two treatments. I find it hard to relax and worry that it is either going to hurt or I am going to bleed. He is very understanding but can understandably find it a little frustrating - as do I!

I am not sure what I can say to help, I think you had your second treatment a little after me? This time round I have tried very much to put it to the back of my mind and tto just enjoy life which has helped a little.

There are lots of really great guys out there and I am sure if and when you are ready to meet someone they will be totally understanding of the situation and you can take it really slowly

Pm if you need me

Cat xxxxx