Oh honey, sending you big ((((hugs)))))
i am a step behind you, 1b1, still waiting for treatment. I think I can cope, just, with the treatment, but like you it is the thought of recurrance that is completely freaking me out. I have asked my oncologist about it, and about HPV, and he was a bit dismissive. Like, yeah, presumably it was caused by HPV so we won't bother checking, and it'll be gone after surgery! Well, not according to what I'm reading! There seem to be many people who have treatment and then remain all clear, but also many who have further problems in different places. It makes me very cross that despite the fact that knowledge of HPV is still developing, we are not all being tested and followed up carefully. If my cancer has been caused by HPV, why did it lie dormant for so long and then cause problems? Surely they should be finding out!? Cos I can't seem to find the answer!
sorry, I've totally ranted here. But I feel just the way you do. I don't think the answers they can give us at the minute are enough.
If I were you, I would def have the jab if I could. It couldn't do any harm, and in fact I'm sure I've read somewhere that it's still beneficial even after previous infection. Besides that, I think once we've been in this stormy boat, we've just got to learn from it and put ourselves and our health first. Read the book 'anti cancer', I have found it so useful and positive.
stay strong, you have your whole life ahead of you.