Emotional roller-coaster waiting for results

I am 44 year old mother of 5. A year ago I started having pain in my tail bone area this seem to coincide with my periods and I thought nothing of it as my periods only last 3 days it was just an inconvenience. Then around July last year I had my first breakthrough bleed between periods it was a big one and scary but I didn’t go to the doctor instead stupidly I waiting a couple of months to see if there was any pattern to it but the bleeding seem to come and go with no pattern. I also started bleeding during and after sex. One night while having sex with my partner I had a massive bleed it was like a bloodbath it scared both of us so the next day I went to the doctor.

He ordered blood test, urine tests, and an ultrasound which showed apart from a polyp and being anemic that everything seemed normal. I was still bleeding so the doctor put me on hormone tablets to stop the bleeding long enough to get a pap smear done. During the pap smear I had a massive bleed the doctor seemed concerned but didn’t go into any details. My smear results came back as Cin 3 the doctor referred me to the hospital and I was told I would have to get a colposcopy and a cone biopsy. I told my doctor about the tail bone pain as it seemed to me that it was possible it could be related. I have also had two very small anal bleeds too. That was before Christmas my colposcopy was booked for the end of Jan '17.

During the time waiting for the appointment the tail bone pain has become constant it never goes away and is very very uncomfortable. I was put back on the hormone tablets in the lead up to the hospital so I wouldn’t be bleeding. During the colposcopy the doctor showed me what she could see and it scared the hell out of me!! She showed me the damage the HPV virus has done but it was the damage around the opening of my cervix that really scared me, I can only describe it as like a large area of small scabs. I had another massive bleed during the procedure which the doctor had a hard time getting under control. She did the iodine and vinegar wash I cannot remember the vinegar wash but I know with the iodine wash there was a LOT of yellow which I have since read is not good. I asked the doctor afterwards on her thoughts but she said she does not like to speculate. She would only say that regardless of the results I would need to have the cone biopsy done. She did take 3 small biopsies that day and I go for the results on the 14th Feb.

I am very very worried and scared. My mood swings are all over the place and as understanding as my partner tries to be we are arguing a lot. My kids no nothing so to them I am just mean mummy my oldest daughter told me she hates me I am making everyone’s lives miserable and I hate myself for it but at the same time I think my partner who knows everything should be more understanding. After the colposcopy I bled for a week I was due my periods the other day but they haven’t come I am not on any contraception so I took a pregnancy test just to be sure but it came back negative.

My partner thinks I am over-reacting and that I should wait until I know something to freak out but as much as I tried to explain to him my fear he thinks I am being dramatic. The breakthrough bleeding seems to have stopped for now this is the longest I have gone without having any kind of bleeding and it is good but the tail bone pain is like a constant whisper in my brain reminding me things are far from normal. The closer it come to the 14th I feel the worse I am getting my mood swings feel like they are getting worse I just want to know even if it is bad news I think the months of not knowing hormone tablets and pain are driving me insane.

Has anyone else had the same symptoms as me and got a positive result??? Has anyone had the same tail bone pain as it really scares me thinking it could be cancer that has spread!!! Also what was everyone else mood swings like? and how did you cope??? Any advice or insight in how to cope with it all would help!

I didn't want to read and run. Have you had your results yet?

I am waiting on my results which I've been told will be 2-4 weeks. I'm rather anxious about them too.

I hope you've had your results and got some answers. (((Hugs)))