Emotional recovery after LLETZ


this forum has been really helpful while going through the whole diagnosis process, though it's my first time posting. All of the information on here really helped to prepare me for the physical side of getting diagnosed with CIN3 cells and what that means, and what to expect in a LLETZ treatment session etc. But I haven't been prepared for the emotional response I've had. When I first went to the GP with concerning symptoms (spotting between periods, pain during sex, plus I had really bad thrush), I really focused on not worrying about it until I had results. Since getting the results of 'no signs of cancer but CIN3 cells', my emotions have been all over the place. And they've been even worse since the LLETZ treatment. I've been on the edge of tears sort of constantly, and feeling really anxious and down. I've also been exhausted all the time. There have been some other changes going on in my life that can help to explain some of it, but it really feels connected to my health issues. 

Has anyone else found it difficult to recovery emotionally? I'm sure it's the pent up anxiety of the last few months. I was hoping to feel more relief, but that just hasn't come yet! 

Thanks, what a great community this is xx

Hello I think the emotional trauma of this process is underestimated by the medics.i have been the same as you still not feeling great after a week and a half. Hope you feel better soon xx

Thanks Jennywren, I'm sorry to hear you're going through the same thing. It feels really ridiculous in a way, because I should just be relieved it's nothing more serious. But telling myself that doesn't seem to be helping! I just didn't really expect it to be this hard, with a relatively positive result. I feel really stange trying to talk about it without feeling like I'm trying to be dramatic. I don't know. I'm sure it will pass. It's just been unexpected. I hope you feel better soon, too. I'm sure we both will xx 

yes, right there with you. Was supposed to be back at work today, having booked a couple of days off after 'just in case' but couldnt do it. have randomly burst into tears 4 times today, feeling like a total prat for being so dramatic which in turn makes me feel worse! Physically its no where near as bad as i though post-lletz but emotionally i am a wreck. Spoke to my GP about it and he said that at the end of day, warranted or not, lletz (under local) is a physical violation and it is natural that i am having this emotional reaction. Feels awful though, like an extreme version of when i was pregnant. This is my 5th day after lletz so will get better soon hopefully.

Hope that you feel better soon and know that you are not alone!

The emotional stuff was the hardest for me. Physical pain is usually temporary but those sinking feelings of depression and anxiety can feel inescapable. I know I had several different phases of emotions throughout this process. It happens so suddenly that it's hard not to have a dramatic response. At first I was angry. Angry that I didn't know I had HPV before and had been told I could wait 3 years between coloscopies. Angry that women's health is so confusing. Angry that there was just so much I did not know. Angry at men too because they don't have cervixes to deal with. Angry at the universe. I mean if 90% of people have it, why am I one of the few that doesn't clear it on their own? Then there was certainly a sense of loss. Like no matter what, something was going to change. I dont mean just changes from the potential risks and complications and disease itself but that I may spend the next several years worried about whether or not it will come back. Then certainly the depression and crying etc. So basically just an emotional mess. I still feel that way but since I got my results back, I've been more focused on how the change can be good. I've started doing some journaling about it whenever I'm feeling particularly upset. I've never done that before but it's helping at the moment. I'm just trying to change it all into positive if at all possible because I know the dark thoughts aren't good for the healing process and I want to heal.