Hi,
I found this website a couple of weeks ago. I meant to register but I just never got around to it.
I'm turned 25 in July last year, and I didn't have my first smear until the December. I was quite anxious about it, I have always been quite squeamish, especially 'down there' for some reason? I'm not sure why. Anyway I was anxious about it then I had a nightmare day which included a lot of rushing around and nearly missing my appointment, so when I got there I was in a bit of a flap and hadn't really prepared myself. The whole experience was awful, I feel like the nurse who did it may have been a bit rough with me when I wasn't actually ready. I bled a little bit during, so she wasn't able to actually see my cervix, then I nearly fainted afterwards, which I think goes to show I wasn't ready for what she did. I felt twinges for about a week after, and was bleeding for about 3 days, not a lot at all, but it was enough to worry me a bit. I had never worried aboubt it in the past, I have never bled after sex or had any discomfort or problems in that area, so theb fact that I bles during and after the smear was a real shock.
Anyway, in a week and a half my doctor called me to say I had abnormak cells and I needed to go for a colposcopy, and somebody from the hospital would call me soon to arrange a date. The doctor was lovely (she has been my doctor my whole life) and said not to worry, that although there may be pre-cancerous cells the key word is PRE, not cancerous. Although I knew that was the rational way to think of it I just started panicking, genuinely believing I was going to die,or at best, be left unable to have chilldrenb, which would be my worst nightmare. You never think clearly when you get that type of news do you?
When I went for the colpsocopy on the 8th January, I got myself into a bit of a state panicking beforehand. I think where the smear test was so horrible for me I was just terrified of anything happening in that area again. So much so that the consultant said she wasn't going to do the biopsy, as she could see that I would need treatment and she thought it was unecessary and it would just make me actually pass out. I felt so stupid was gettinng myself so worked up, as I said the consultants and nurses were lovely about it, but I just felt so pathetic not being able to deal with it. The consultant told me I would have to have LLETZ treatment, and when she told me I would be put under a general aneasthetic I was so relieved. I wasn't actually worried at all then because as far as I was concerned they were getting rid of the bad cells and then that would be that, and best of all i wouldn't be awake so I wouldn't have to worry about getting into a state.
I had my LLETZ a week and 3 days ago and it was all fine. First time I had ever been under GA, felt a bit tired when I got out, have had a bit of tummy ache, similar to period pains,in fact I have actually had period pain worse than this, and some brown discharge (sorry for TMI), which they said was normal. They did warn of a possibility of a secondary haemorrage - is it a definite that I will bleed at some point? When I left the hospital the doctor told me the 'results' of what they removed will be sent in the post. This may sound incredibly naive of me, but what results can I expect?
i thought that they had been removed and that was that? I saw on paperwork given to me when I left the hospital that the cells were CIN 3 - what other results will there be?
I took the day after my LLETZ off, and just rested, then I went back to work on the following Monday. Work was hectic, it's an office job so not exerting, but it was very busy and I was working late all week so it was nice to have a distraction. On the evenijngs and yesterday however, I have found that I have been really emotional, and wondering whether this has worked or not? Last night I was crying for an hour because I kept thinking of worst case scenario, which is just crazy, as it stands everything was a success so there's no need to think that.
Did anybody else find that they were emotional after LLETZ? I think I just need some reassurance that I'm not going crazy lol.
I would really like a holiday to take a break from day to day life. My partner, myself and friends were supposed to be going skiing in February, which I had to cancel because of this treatment and I was told to relax, and i didn't particularly fancy skiing whilst i was still bleeding. Does anybody think I would be ok to go middle of March? That would be 6 weeks after my LLETZ?
Sorry for the long essay, it's just niceto get it all out and hopefully have some feedback from people who have been in simnilar situations.
Jess
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