Emotional after LLETZ?



I found this website a couple of weeks ago. I meant to register but I just never got around to it.

I'm turned 25 in July last year, and I didn't have my first smear until the December. I was quite anxious about it, I have always been quite squeamish, especially 'down there' for some reason? I'm not sure why. Anyway I was anxious about it then I had a nightmare day which included a lot of rushing around and nearly missing my appointment, so when I got there I was in  a bit of a flap and hadn't really prepared myself. The whole experience was awful, I feel like the nurse who did it may have been a bit rough with me when I wasn't actually ready. I bled a little bit during, so she wasn't able to actually see my cervix, then I nearly fainted afterwards, which I think goes to show I wasn't ready for what she did. I felt twinges for about a week after, and was bleeding for about 3 days, not a lot at all, but it was enough to worry me a bit. I had never worried aboubt it in the past, I have never bled after sex or had any discomfort or problems in that area, so theb fact that I bles during and after the smear was a real shock.

Anyway, in a week and a half my doctor called me to say I had abnormak cells and I needed to go for a colposcopy, and somebody from the hospital would call me soon to arrange a date. The doctor was lovely (she has been my doctor my whole life) and said not to worry, that although there may be pre-cancerous cells the key word is PRE, not cancerous. Although I knew that was the rational way to think of it I just started panicking, genuinely believing I was going to die,or at best, be left unable to have chilldrenb, which would be my worst nightmare. You never think clearly when you get that type of news do you?

When I went for the colpsocopy on the 8th January, I got myself into a bit of a state panicking beforehand. I think where the smear test was so horrible for me I was just terrified of anything happening in that area again. So much so that the consultant said she wasn't going to do the biopsy, as she could see that I would need treatment and she thought it was unecessary and it would just make me actually pass out. I felt so stupid was gettinng myself so worked  up, as I said the consultants and nurses were lovely about it, but I just felt so pathetic not being able to deal with it. The consultant told  me I would have to have LLETZ treatment, and when she told me I would be put under a general aneasthetic I was so relieved. I wasn't actually worried at all then because  as far as I was concerned they were getting rid of the bad cells and then that would be that, and best of all i wouldn't be awake so I wouldn't have to worry about getting into a state.

I had my LLETZ a week and 3 days ago and it was all fine. First time I had ever been under GA, felt a bit tired when I got out, have had a bit of tummy ache, similar to period pains,in fact I have actually had  period pain worse than this, and some brown discharge (sorry for TMI), which they said was normal. They did warn of a possibility of a secondary haemorrage - is it a definite that I will bleed at some point? When I left the hospital the doctor told me the 'results' of what they removed will be sent in the post. This may sound  incredibly naive of me, but what results can I expect?

i thought that they had been removed and that was that? I saw on paperwork given to me when I left the hospital that the cells were CIN 3 - what other results will there be?

I took the day after my LLETZ off, and just rested, then I went back to work  on the following Monday. Work was hectic, it's an office job so not exerting, but it was very busy and I was working late all week so it was nice to have a distraction. On the evenijngs and yesterday however, I have found that I have been really emotional, and wondering whether this has worked or not? Last night I was crying for an hour because I kept thinking of worst case scenario, which is just crazy, as it stands everything was a success so there's no need to think that.

Did anybody else find that they were emotional after LLETZ? I think I just need some reassurance that I'm not going crazy lol.

I would really like a holiday to take a break from day to day life. My partner, myself and friends were supposed to be going skiing in February, which I had to cancel because of this treatment and I was told to relax, and i didn't particularly fancy skiing whilst i was still bleeding. Does anybody think I would be ok to go middle of March? That would be 6 weeks after my LLETZ?

Sorry for the long essay, it's just niceto get it all out and hopefully have some feedback from people who have been in simnilar situations.



Hi Jess,

I'm sure you should be fine to go ski-ing in March, but it might be worth having a chat with your lovely whole-life doctor to make sure she agrees.

I think we all get quite emotional about stuff happening 'down there'. It is the most intimate part of our anatomy and it is more difficult for us to see it than anybody else, so we're really quite protective about it. I'm sure it would be very different if we were men and could just slap it out on the doctor's desk.

The 'results' you are waiting for should be something along the lines of either 'we're sure we got it all and we don't need to see you again for another 6 months' or 'sorry about this but we think it's better if we have another little poke around sooner than that'. That is my understanding of how it works but I have not experienced any of this for myself so cannot guarantee that those are the only two possible outcomes.

Be lucky


Hi Jess, please don't worry - being emotional after LLETZ is perfectly normal. I know the procedure itself is done as a day case, however all the emotions will be the build up of weeks waiting for letters, worrying and attending appointments, not just the procedure itself. I've had LLETZ twice, and I can honestly say the second time (Dec 2014) was a real emotional ride for me - I was so stressed and the whole not knowing and waiting drove me round the twist! I probably ended up getting myself into more of a tizz than I should have, so after the LLETZ procedure was done and over with, I think all my emotions just came to a head and I felt so wiped out and teary for a few weeks.

I think I only started to feel better once I got my results back and started feeling back to normal. It doesn't happen overnight and please don't feel guity for it - your body has been through a lot and your head has been through even more. Also, I don't know if you feel the dame, but although the procedure is needed, I ended up feeling a bit violated I suppose. I think it was the fact that I had been to about 6 appointments in total before the LLETZ and each time it was a different doctor, suppose I felt a bit sick of getting my lady bits out to strangers by the end! I think that is is only normal to feel too, it's not nice.

Don't be so hard on yourself, allow yourself time to heal both phyically and emotionally - it might take a few weeks but you'll get there in the end. Your lovely ski trip will be here before you know and you'll be feeling a lot better.

Lucy xx

Thank you both for your replies. It's nice to feel some support from people who know what it's like to be in this situation.

I think that's how I felt too. I still feel pretty wiped out and tired, not as emotional today just still exhausted.

I'm sure I'll feel a lot better once I have received my results, and I can book a holiday :)

Pleased to hear you're all ok Lucy. thank you again :)