Driving myself slowly insane with worry

Hi everyone,

 

i don't really know what I'm hoping for but I guess some reassurance?!i know there are a lot of you in the same boat & just wondered how you are all coping?im not doing so well...

i had my colposcopy & lletz treatment on 12th July. I am very lucky as had insurance so had the treatment privately. The consultant said when I walked in that there was almost a nought percent chance it is cancer however this was before he had examined me so I didn't feel too reassured. I had the treatment ( which was so much better than I had imagined) & he said he had removed an area of 1cm deep & 3cm wide (he showed in to me in the jar) it looked big to me & I asked if it was big but he said it is consistent with severe dsykaryosis. I asked if in his experience ( he is the clinical lead for colposcopy & gynaecological cancer with 30 years experience) did did it look like cancer and he said 'no I don't think it's cancer' he said he would write to me in 2 weeks with the results (which I know is fast as some of you have been waiting for long. I don't know how you have done it!)i am slowly driving myself crazy with worry & what ifs...I have taken the pastweek off work sick as I can't concentrate (I'm a nurse) & I need to be 100% focused on my job...I feel very down & my anxiety levels are so high...I have had cbt in the past for health anxiety & fear this might consume me with worry. I know i am coping terribly with the unknown.My partner is trying to be supportive but is very much a black & white thinker who does not show emotion easily (also his dad is very poorly with copd so I feelguilty for the extra worry on him. I know there are others who have had results & are going through much worse. I'm so sorry if this sounds self indulgent & selfish...just wondering if any one could offer some hope & maybe advice On how to deal with this better?!!:(Thank you so much xxx

 

 

Hiya, I can completly relate to your post as I have health anxiety as well and became really upset after my LLETZ 6 years ago. I had a big area removed for what the dr thought was CIN 3 (actually turned out to be CIN 2).. I drove myself (and everyone around me!) totally crackers with the worry.

These are things that I found help with the anxiety and waiting:

1) Don't Google - ever. If you want to deal with the anxiety go to "no more panic" website. If you type in "cervical cancer" into the serach tab on the website you should come across posts from ppl in a similar situation (and some of my posts from a few years ago). I only "search" on NMP now.

2) Take the time to look after you and enjoy the good weather - eat well, exercise, stop smoking (if you do)

 

3) talk to friends.. I find when I'm anxious I shut myself off and it makes me worse. See friends and keep sociable.

 

4) try to cut down on caffeine.. it makes anxiety much worse. Camomile is good for reducing anxiety as it has a slight tranquillising effect.

 

5) If you are worried and its getting out of hand speak to your doctor.

 

These are things that have helped me.. it's really tough and  uncertainty is hard to deal with.. but nothing is certain and we have to live for the moment. Worrying will not resolve the situation in any way. If your doctor thinks you don't have cc then chances are you actually really don't have it... and in the worst case scenario (which is a tiny, tiny chance), it would be early stage and gone already.

 

all the best

 

J

Thank you so so much...you wouldn't believe I'm a mental health nurse with my anxiety levels!!!i have a son who is 3...I know I am very lucky but it had also triggered my health anxiety as I cannot imagine ever leaving him. Your advice is so needed & so valuable...I will try my best & hope I don't have to wait too much longer..I really admire you all & thank you from the bottom of my heart for your help xxx