driving myself insane :/

I still have to wait three weeks for my biopsy results and I'll be honest. ..... after the colopscopy I was reassured and I felt ok and positive but now I'm back to really really scared and panicking soooooo much. Im convinced they will show something really bad and I'll be told there is nothing they can do!!  And im constantly feeling my lower stomach and convincing myself I can feel lumps e.c.t.. I'm kinda driving my boyfriend mad :( I'm not a positive person anyway and its coming up to my mum and dads anniversary and I really think doesnt help because they died unexpectedly and I think the same will happen to me.... grrrrr... im in a bit of a pickle :/ x

Hiya lovely,

The paranoia you're desribing is what we all go through during the waiting, it's torturous! I had to wait 6 weeks for my biopsy results, and I'd convinced myself that after the LLETZ all the abnormal cells would have been gone and I'd carry on as if nothing happened, so being told I had cc really surprised me. My torturous waiting time is now, waiting for an appointment with the consultant to discuss treatment.

Even if you get bad news, if it is cc, it's difficult and no one plans to go through it in their life, but the chances of it being very advanced are so so minimal. I totally understand how you feel, and I'm sorry there's nothing I can say that will help!


Hi, its normal i think that we worry ourselves silly with all the horrendous waiting we have to do, i was worried sick waiting on my biopsy results, after 5 weeks i rang the clinic to chase them up and got told they matched my smear n i’d need Lletz, i’ve had that now and am back to waiting. Its all so bloomin frustrating, your mind can’t rest till you know for sure so we drive ouselves mad with worry. Good luck with your results x

Hi Ladies,

I hope you are all ok today. I know that you must all be waiting with nerves for the post to drop through the door or the phone to ring. I was a nervous wreck and my mum had to stay with me as I just couldn't cope. I nearly threw up everytime the post was delivered. Nothing ever came either.

I had a less positive experience in terms of the LLetz treatment. My consultant seemed nervous, coulkdn't reassure me and kept saying that everything was 'urgent' She told me there and then I had high grade cells. That she didn't want me to worry 'too much' which obviously made me worry even more. I had an urgent ultrasound booked too.

I was told 3-4 weeks for my results but they were going to rush them through. I just couldn't wait after 2 weeks. I was going absilutely insane so I phoned the secretary. She was absolutely lovely and told me she had my results and told me I had the all clear over the phone. She said that they consultant would write to me with the results. Fast forward another 3 weeks and still no letter but my mind had been put at ease but I wanted to get my letter just to confirm. So I called again and the secretary (again very lovely and not at all annoyed with me ringing) said that they were have a MDT meeting about me (a meeting where other doctors, histologist etc get together to discuss certain cases) but she said it was nothing to worry aboutit was just to discuss the decision to discharge me as I had CGIN (glandular cells))

2 weeks after that phonecall I still hadn't heard anything until I got a letter through the door which said I needed to attend a meeting with the consultation with the doctor. When I met with the doctor she just confirmed what I had spoken to the secretary about and I was able to ask her questions.

What I want to get across is, had I not phoned I would have got a letter seven weeks after the treatment saying I needed to go and see the consultant. Her opening line was 'I wanted to have the conversation in person rather than over the phone or letter' which would have automatically made me assume the worst. I'm sure if you have left it a reasonable amount of time then the secreatary won't mind you calling.

Good luck, I hope you get your results soon.  

Just to reiterate, the waiting is the worst bit and you will convince yourself you are stage 4 cancer before you see a doctor about any results!! I did. I had so many pains going on in my stomach that were getting worse on a daily basis and I was convinced this was it for me. Reading other people's experiences over the past few weeks, I have found out that this is what everyone does. The waiting is the worst bit. I'm back to waiting now until Tuesday to find the results of my histology to see if I need more treatment... Hopefully not.

try to stay positive. Easier said than done. 

Xxx don