I’m new to this forum, but looking for some advice from you ladies.
I had an abnormal smear result which showed high grade dyskarosis and positive HPV. This was my second smear, my first I found very traumatic and ended up putting off this second one for nearly 2 years. It took 4 attempts by my amazing practice nurse to do the smear.
I attended for my colposcopy yesterday, but I just couldn’t relax and found the whole thing very hard. I tried, but I just couldn’t do it. I don’t know why I find it so hard, I had taken some diazepam before hand and really tried to get into the zone.
The consultant was ok, she explained that she obviously needed to do this. I tried again but just burst into tears. I know it’s uncomfortable, but I can’t explain how irrational I am about it. I felt so vulnerable. But mostly so embarrassed and disappointed in myself.
The consultant explained to me that I will most likely need lletz, and she wouldn’t be ale to perform today anyway so suggested that I have colposcopy, biopsies and lletz under general anaesthetic. I just feel so stupid and dramatic, I can’t explain why I freak out so much, it’s such a routine procedure.
I feel so disappointed in myself. I was wondering if I could maybe try again at the clinic and if anyone had any tips or similar experiences?
Oh and the ironic thing about it all?! I’m a nurse that works in gynaecology.