Diagnosed yesterday (children mentioned)

So had meeting with consultant yesterday telling me biopsy of lletz found stage 1a1 cancer and cgin and cin3 and cin2 this is all on back of a borderline smear with Hpv and biopsy result of cin3 in small area  

Finding telling people hard as their reaction makes me scared crying etc or they can't talk as they are too upset with my news. This makes me feel more frightened. 

Consultant recommending total hysterectomy and taking ovaries too which my head says yes but kind of depressing thinking I will br going through the change and worried about sex life after I am 34 and have always enjoyed sex (sorry tmi).  I am finished with my family and so glad I had my children when I did and don't want anymore children but still feel sad by it all

Scared that I have other cancer too now paranoid of every pain symptom. sorry for rant  xx

 

 

 

 

I'm afraid I don't have any words of wisdom here as this is all new to me. I found out last week and am waiting on staging. 

I totally understand where you are coming from with telling people. It is really difficult and frightening.

 

^wouldnt let me finish!

unlike you I am not finished with my family and I think that will be a big grief once I'm at the other end of this.

i'm sure there are lots of ladies here who can advise re sex, menopause etc etc. x

Hi lovely, 

No need to apologise. Being told you have cancer is singularly one of the scariest things anyone can  ever hear. To then be told that to make you better other parts of your life need to change immeasurably- it's just too much to take in all at once. I'll be starting chemo/rads a week on Monday. They've moved my ovaries out of radiation field to try to protect them but there are no guarantees & I won't be able to carry a pregnancy (no children). I too am 34 this year and don't really relish the idea of menopause either. I believe there are hormone replacement patches out there that are pretty good, or HRT. Speak to your consultant about these as they will help with some of the unwanted side effects!!!

Thinking you have cancer everywhere is also normal. Obviously I can't say for sure but yours is early stages so highly unlikely to be elsewhere. I'm either 2b or 3b (bit of confusion that I'm trying to clarify) and only have spread to a few pesky lymph nodes in my pelvis.

When telling people I adopted the blunt and to the point response. I think it helped that I was feeling pretty numb to everything at the time too. I still do to be honest. Wake up most mornings thinking I was having a nightmare. Then I remember that I am, a real life humdinger of one. Just remember that you are the one who has to walk this journey. Do whatever makes it easier for you. Ask people to rein in their emotions around you if that's easier. Ask family members and friends to tell those that you don't necessarily want/need to tell yourself. Most of all, don't worry if some of the decisions you make right now seem a little selfish. They are, they are right for you and your children.

I wish you the all best. 

Rachel x

Sweetpea,

I'm not finished with my family either, in fact I've not even started. So hard to come to terms with. I too have stored that away for now but it will come crashing when the big C is dealt with. Don't know about you but I can only deal with one massive life changing event at a time. 

I'm keeping my fingers crossed that you are early stage and can have fertility saving treatmemy.

This horrible disease effects so many women in lots of equally horrendous ways. If I had children now I would be beside myself with worry for them and their future. It's just so unfair.

Best of luck

Rachel x

Hi Sara, i also found out yesterday that I have stage 1b cancer, they actually said they have found 2 types of cancer, and like you this came from a borderline smear with hpv, I am happy that I have the early stages and that it is curable, but like you I am worried that it maybe further as every ache and pain roun my stomach I am assuming its spread, telling my family yestetday was so hard, I have a 16yr old and hes breaking his heart, I also have a 4 mth old who in my eyes was my guardian angel cuz without him, i never would have went for smears, which now I know was completely stupid x

Big hugs to you all ladies such a difficult time for us all. I am grateful for this site.

Sweatpea thank you X I will pray staging quickly and brings good news for you so you can start the process. 

Rach thank you X yes most scariest time for sure just keep replaying the meeting with consultant in my head.  I pray that protectiom of ovaries will be successful.  And good luck with treatment make sure you be kind to yourself and get support and help from close ones.  

I find accepting help hard. My mum lives in Malta and I wasn't brought with her my nan who was my mum has passed away so help wise it will be difficult but my close friend wants to help by cleaning twice a week for me and I find it hard accepting help.  But know my husband can't deal with everything.

Shauna hope you are ok x very similar situation to me then, I have a baby and am older child tellimg older daughter was v hard.  V glad you went for your smear too, I find myself asking my friends now are they up to date with smears two friends are booking them because of my news. 

I'm finding Macmillan booklet v useful I was scared to read it at first. 

I'm trying to keep busy doing the stuff I normally do I'm exhausted though not sleeping and off my food too.  Again big hugs ladies hope we can all support each other when we are having a bad day xxx

 

Big hugs to you too.

Be sure to accept the help offered to you. A very close friend of mine had to tell her children she had breast cancer, I know she found it hard (Macmillan helped her lots). Her two wonderful children took the news well and were amazing. I too hope my ovaries survive this, time will tell. 

Even more hugs to all you lovely ladies. This site keeps us all sane I think. 

 

Rachel x

It's just totally cr*p that any of us have to go through this!!!

 

Rach I am so sorry that this has happened pre-children. I hope your ovaroes are spared and once this is over that something can be done for you.

 

Thanks Sarah xx should find out monday but currently wondering ig they'll actually know before then. 

 

Hugs to all x