Diagnosed today

Hi everyone.
After a cone biopsy last week and a D and C my doctor called today to tell me that I have stage 1B CC. Now that’s something I never thought I’d have to write. Until this last pap smear I had never had an abnormal pap test, no symptoms, nothing. Well I say nothing - now, I look back and every twinge or bloat or frequent urination seems suspicious.
I am post-menopausal and live in the US, although I am English. This seems totally unreal and as though it is happening to someone else. I even took the phone call calmly and then sobbed.
Thank God I stumbled across this site. My Obgyn is setting me up with a gyno oncologist, although my Obgyn thinks my treatment will involve a full hysterectomy and recommends removal of the ovaries as well.
From what I have read here, it seems likely that the new doctor will do further tests so I am scared that he will find problems in the lymph nodes or elsewhere. I wonder too if the treatment here will differ from that in the UK. No one has mentioned MRIs or tumour markers, but maybe that’s for the new doctor.
I’ve been so encouraged by the posters here. So many women have offered so much support and it truly makes a difference.
Everyone’s so brave and cheery. I have many friends who have had breast cancer and they have been upbeat and positive through long, painful treatments. I don’t feel brave or cheery or upbeat. I want to hide under my duvet and pretend it’s not happening.

Sorry you have to find yourself here Teresa but you will find great help and support here. I was 1b1 too and had to have a radical hysterectomy inc ovaries and lymph nodes 4 weeks ago. You will prob have a mri scan before they can finalise your treatment plan. It's all really scary to take in but once you have your treatment plan it all moves quite quickly. Fingers crossed for you that no spread. Any questions feel free to pm anytime, hugs x

Sweetheart. It's ok to feel crappy. You've just had a humongous shock. Everyone here is bloomin amazing & yes you're right, everyone seems so positive.

When i first came here a coupla wks ago i was just soooooo negative, thinking some increfibly dark and scary thoughts and while they do still enter my thoughts on a daily basis, reading on here gives so much hope and slowly makes u feel much more positive.

Its a rollercoaster hunni, but im already finding it levels out too. 

Once u r more certain of your treatment plan you will feel more positive too, more in control. Its all the uncertainty thats the worse.

Get yourself tapping away on here whenever u feel like youre going to meltdown hun. We're here with u xxxxx

Hi Teresa :-)

Welcome to the club! :-) Being post-menopausal means that a hysterectomy including ovary removal won't have nearly as much effect on you as it does on the younger members of this group. You'll already be familiar with the hot flushes and night sweats. Try (I know it's hard) not to fear about lymph involvement until you've had the tests and it's been confirmed. Oncologists are really experienced in their field and usually a stage 1 does not involve lymph nodes which is why a hysterectomy has already been suggested. If it turns out that there is lymph involvement then most likely you will have chemo-radiation instead of the hysterectomy, and this treatment is not so bad as it sounds either. If you just want to hide on the duvet or hang out here you do whatever feels best for you. You don't have to put on a show for any other living being right now.

(((((HUGS)))))

Be lucky :-)
Tivoli

Thank you for your kind words.  This is such a comforting place to hang out and get answers.  I do feel lucky that I have already gone through menopause - which for me did not involve night sweats or hot flashes - and had kids. This is no fun for anyone and it's even tougher on the younger women who have fertility issues etc to add to the load.  Thank God that medicine has advanced so much to give us all so many more options than earlier generations had.

Had a great conversation with my sister, who unfortunately lives in Canada, and she was soooo supportive and positive. I have my first appointment with the gyno oncologist next Thursday so hopefully we can get tests done and get a plan in place.

It's the waiting though isn't it? How do people carry on with their day when their heads are full of this? I am truly finding it hard to get out of bed and am full of admiration for all the women on here who carry on with their jobs and their lives.

t

I am still.working at the mo. I find it helps take my mind off it, but i have had some proper meltdowns and havent gone in. One day i  just lsid on the sofa staring at the ceiling and the branches of a tree. I had attempted to get to work but had to drive home. It was half 2 before i realised i was freezing and hadnt even taken my boots off. 

It is a huuuuuuge mindblowing rollercoaster and everyone will deal with it differently sweetie. I am getting my head round ot a lil more everyday. I wouldnt say time is a great healer, but time does make u able to cope and compartmentise (is that even a word). I hope that makes sense haha.

I find i think about it less & less, but sometimes, even midconversation it can rear its ugly head and i zone out, but im getting better at reigning it in.

I love what Tivoli said about not putting on a show. She is damn right. This is about u. Do what u feel is right for u my lovely.

Much love xxx

Roller coaster is exactly what it feels like. I went for a walk yesterday, perfectly cheery, 80 degrees here and sunny. One minute I was admiring someone's boxwood hedge and the next I was sobbing.  I swing from thinking that everything will be fine - quick hysterectomy, few months of inactivity and then back to normal life - to everything being dreadful.  I always was a black or white kind of thinker. I'm trying to take my sister's advice which is to only deal with the facts I have right now. No speculation, no googling, only the facts.  One tiny step at a time. It's really hard to do but when I can manage it, it seems more manageable. I have moments when I forget and it all seems a dream. 

I was diagnosed with stage 1b1 two months ago. The waiting was/is so tough! I had a pet ct scan a couple weeks ago that showed nothing so my doc went through with a radical hysterectomy last Monday, the 18th. I am only 34 and elected to remove ovaries as well. I am still waiting on biopsy results from surgery. I already feel so much better with surgery behind me. I hope the waiting is over for you soon! Surgery wasn't that bad at all! I am only one week out and just some swelling and discomfort but I'm getting around well. I wish you the best and I found right after diagnosis to be the toughest time. Once you have all the information and a plan things should get easier. Best of luck!

Morning Teresa, 

Yes speculation is a nightmare, but i am fast discovering v natural unfortunately. Yes im scared, but its more for my lil boy. And definitely stay away from google!

The only sites i visit are here and Macmillan which i think is a uk based cancer charity. I once visited cancer research uk and i wont be doing THAT again lol. 

I think the best source of info and comfort is definitely coming from chatting and reading post here, written by you amazing women xxx