Diagnosed today - Stage 2b

So I had my meeting this morning.  I have been diagnosed with stage 2b cc.  I just burst into tears but the nurse that came to meet with me was a lovely lady, very patient, talked us through everything and gave us loads of leaflets and booklets felt like we were there for hours.

I have to get a pet scan next to make sure it hasn't spread and we have been through my treatment which is 1 day a week chemo and 4 days radiotherapy per week for 5 weeks.  If the scan shows it's spread I need to have chemo in the first instance and then the combination treatment. .

I'm not going to tell my girls I feel they are too young (6&7) and my husband told me son (16) and he's not taking it well despite reassurances. The nurse thinks we should involve the girls in things but I don't know how.

 

 

Firstly I'm sorry to hear of your diagnosis and wish you the very best going forward.  

I'm a mum of 2 boys, one is 5 and the other is 2, we told my boys as soon as I was diagnosed that mummy had cc, I had been very poorly with symptoms for along time so they had already been dealing with me being poorly.  

As you can imagine my 5 year old was petrified mummy was going to die, we explained how the doctors were going to care for me and discussed my treatment plan, we also took my eldest son to see the machines and the chemo room I was treated in so he was able to meet the staff and ask questions.  It helped tremendously, he came away very knowledgeable about my treatment plan, he was able to discuss it with family, friends and teachers.

I think only you can make the decision as to what you will or won't tell them, my sons still asks me everyday now how I am and understands what I need when I have a bad day and is always the first to offer help and a cuddle.

wishing you the very best xx

Thank you so much for replying to me its much appreciated I've had a few problems trying to post etc on the site.  I have given my 16 year old the leaflets to look through and I think I'm going to involve him in the hospital appts if anything to keep his dad company.  My girls are another story butvi completely understand why you told your wee one. To be honest I think its me that won't be able to cope with them knowing.  

Hey Mand, I was diagnosed last week. I have to have an examination under anaesthetic on Thursday and a PET/CT scan too. I was also given a 2b but I'm worried it might change?

 

I have two boys, 21 and 5 and I'm so frightened. You're not alone. 

 

x

Hi. I didn't tell my 2 younger children what was wrong with me, I only told my then 19 year old daughter because I didn't have a choice. I told my boys (then 15 and 8) that I had something in my tummy that shouldn't be there and it needed burning away. I said the treatment would make me poorly but then I'd be better. Theye knew I had been bleeding down there and just didn't ask me any questions.  Now nearly 2 years on, they know no different.  I didn't want to put them through the upset. My 15 year old was in his GCSE year and I just didn't want to upset my 7 year old unless I absolutely love had to. Not many other people knew either (still dont).

That was my way of dealing with it and I can honestly say that for me it was the right decision.  I think a lot of it was that i didnt want to deal with other peoples emotions - just my own.  

 

 Obviously you have to do what's right for you and your family. 

I went to all my appointments alone, drove myself to and from the hospital everyday and life went on as normal.  I felt that was important for my kids, that they had their normal routine. 

I think you will get radiotherapy on your chemo day too. It's a long day so have books, phones, ipads, snacks all ready to go.

I was diagnosed at stage 4 a and at my 3 month scan the tumour had gone.

If you don't want your children to know, they don't have to know x x 

 

Hi Mandy

sorry to hear you have been diagnosed. It is a very hard thing to really soak up!! 

It will take you a few weeks to wrap your head around it and go through this first initial process. Your emotions will be all over the place. Until you have been able to soak it all in and keep your emotions somewhat in check and gather some mental and physical strength from all this stress I would recommend you keep your young girls out of the loop. 

However, once you know exactly what your treatment plan is then it might be a time to slowly inform your girls that you are ill, they will wonder where you are everyday so something will have to be said. Now, what you say will be up to you but please take this into consuderation. If you say the word cancer and one of the girls tells someone then they might get a reaction back from that person that could possibly scare them! I believe that the word cancer makes people think that it is like the movies, all doom and gloom! When treatments have advanced sooo much and there are so many people who have had cancer that you probably don't even realize. 

Take each day as it comes, come here to vent or cry or ask questions. 

It will be ok!!!! 

P.S. You will have radiation 5x a week and chemo 1x a week. Radiation is quick and you will be in and out but chemo days are long. (I actually enjoyed chemo days as you get to sit down in a big comfy chair, watch movies or read, snack and not have kids asking you for something every five minutes. Lol) 

I saw your post and was wondering how you got on.  I'm sorry to hear that we'll get through it Xx 

I totally agree I can't say the word yet last thing I want is someone at school scaring them!! I've actually moved all the leaflets in case my Ava Grace reads them! Thank you for the info Xx 

Thank you.  I think after the first week I'm gonna use the patient transport as we are an hour away from Glasgow.  I need my husband to be at work as I will be put onto sick pay.  My son is 16 and is doing his highers this year plus he attends the college 2 days a week for an engineering course so I don't want him disrupted.  Xx 

Hi Hun, firstly sorry to hear your diagnosis.

when I got diagnosed I told my older 2 children 13 & 15, my son didn't take it very well at all (13yr old) 

i chose not to tell my younger 2 who are 6 & 8 as someone else above has said I didn't want them being scared if someone said the wrong thing.

i was a bit different in that I had a hysterectomy not chemo etc so all I said was mummy had to get an operation to make me feel better.

i suppose you could say the same sort of thing like  ummy needs special medicine to make you better, if you do decide to tell your wee ones? 

Lolli888 gives some fabulous advice right there. I cried everyday from receiving my abnormal Pap Smear result! My kids (7 & 8) just knew that needed to have an operation and that I was a bit frightened.

Even as adults as soon as the word Cancer is brought into it it honestly puts such a tremendous amount of fear into your life, and if your kids hear stories from others it could become a scary time for them. Get advice from a Cancer Counsellor on how best to approach it. If my journey goes on further I'll definitely be doing that.

Good luck x