Devestated newbie (children mentioned)

Good evening everyone and thankyou in advance for any replies.

I have been diagnosed with cc this morning after having a smear test that stated high dyskariosis and then a biopsy that was mild changes and then lletz that has now found the cancer. To be honest I'm just really confused with the conflicting results firstly and then also when I went for my lletz treatment the nurse (very lovely) said that she couldn't see any cancerous cells I was all done and the would see me in 6 months and now this today. I've been told that the cancer is high up in the cervix and therfore now worried that this means it has spread or that it makes things more difficult to cure. I know I'm probably driving myself crazy but I'm a control freak and this I'm not in control of. I have 2 beautiful children aged 3&7 and this is the thing that scares me the most I need to get better !! I'm not sure if I'm looking for advice or sympathy or people who have been in a similar situation to me I just feel lost and really lonely lied here in my bed. 

anyway I'm sorry for the moaning and rambling, my nurse Informed me of this site today and just thought writing things down would make me feel better.

Hi and welcome to jos it really is a good site for help and advice I was told I had cc 2 weeks ago now and was told I needed an in inturnal under ga and also a MRI scan to be staged I was and still am petrified as I don't see consultant till 8th April with results I have 4 beautiful kids 18/14/5/5mths the waiting is the worst part . Do you no what stage you our or do you need to go for MRI scan . Try and keep your self busy and your mind occupied  am sure the lovely lady's will be along here soon to offer you support and advice xx

Hey, 

jos has been a life saver for me over the past few weeks. 

Excellent support :-) 

so I hope you also feel the same. 

Sorry to hear about your outcome :-(

can I ask, how long did u wait for ur results from you lletz treatment to then find out about cc? 

im hoping you find out your stage soon and treatment. 

Hugs! X

Hello all of you :-)

When the cancer is higher up on the cervix it usually means that it is adenocarcinoma which means that it is in the glandular cells and is about 20% of all cervical cancer. It's a little more difficult to see and that is why you have had conflicting test results. It doesn't usually mean that it is bigger or that it has spread any further.

Just to put it in perspective for you, mine was adenocarcinoma, mine was 75mm across and yes it could very definitely be seen. It was staged at 2b. I have had surgery followed by chemo-radiation therapy (just to make extra sure because they got it all out in the operation) and I am now three and a half years later as fit as a fiddle. Please try not to worry yourselves unnecessarily. You will get better, as the vast majority of us do.

Be lucky

Tivoli

xxxxx

Thankyou all for your quick replies I'm feeling a little better already this morning. Cvs I really feel

for you the waiting is the worse isn't it I also think when your trying to keep things normal for the kids it's even harder. I've been told the next step is an MRI then the MDT team will meet on a Wednesday then I'll see specialist on a Friday, however with the Easter weekend and me only being diagnosed yesterday (a Wednesday) I've got a feeling it's going to be a 2 week wait till I get my results :( 

From having my lletz to getting diagnosed it was 3 weeks 3 days.

Thankyou for sharing your experience of cc and so glad you kicked its butt and are now healthy it really does make me feel positive and knowing that it being further up the cervix doesn't necessarily mean it's worse I think ill just have to try and relax and just go through the motions. Thanks again all xx

 

Hi

I was exactly the same as you - high dyskariosis then told at lletz stage by the consultant doing it that he had 'got it all'.  I then had a call 10 days later to go in and I was told I had CC.  Mine was higher up too and in this instance it was squaemos cell staged at 1b1.

Anyway, I am a success story to give you hope!  I had a Wertheims Hysterectomy (also had a cyst on my ovary and a fibroid on my womb) and nearly 40 lymph nodes removed.  It hadn't spread and there were clear margins so luckily I didn't need chemo or radiotherapy.

Its now been 18 months, all my check ups have been clear so far and life is good!

I understand how you feel, its an awful time you are going through and the waiting at the beginning is dreadful. But things do get better, I'm proof of that!

Wishing you lots of luck for your journey, please don't hesitate to message me if you have any questions.

Big hugs

Cheryl,xx

Hi,You have definitely come to the right place to air your worries,i was diagnosed with 1b1 squamous cc 18 months ago,I had a radical hysterectomy and opted to have my ovaries taken away too,because I had finished having a family,also some lymph nodes were taken,my cancer was high up in my cervix and even though the margins were clear my surgeon(Mr fantastic as I call him)couldn't go quite near enough so at the mdt meeting they decided that the best option was to give me chemo/radiation for 5 weeks just as a precaution,and 18 months on -well I'm still here and I feel not too bad considering the battering my poor body has taken.Please don't feel like you're on your own there is so much love and support from the ladies on this site and we all understand what you are going through,sending you a big hug - cj xx

Hi all thankyou again for all your previous replies you all made me feel much better about things, however I had my MRI scan today and it was awful !! I know it wasn't painful but the whole thing has left me so upset I can't stop crying and feel like I'm just crumbling like I can't hold it together for another 10 days until I get my staging and treatment plan and then to go through treatment and recovery. Even worse I vended up losing my temper on the kids tonight and breaking down in a pool of tears on the stairs. I feel like the worst mum in the world it's not thee fault and they don't know what's wrong they were arguing over toothpaste of all things and I just lost it and put them to bed without a story or a cuddle. Things like this are supposed to make you appreciate the most important things in life and my kids are 100% so how can I shout at them like that the fact that this awful disease stops so many people from having any children and I have 2 perfect ones and can't keep it together for them is actually making me feel sick. Really not sure how I'm supposed to keep it together. Any advice would be greatly appreciated.if I can't even cope with an MRI scan what am I going to be like when they tell me the results. thanks in advance for listening xx

Hi

Don't beat yourself up, you are human just like the rest of us.  None of us went through this without reacting in some way or form.  I ended up going to my GP who gave me something just for a month to help me relax and cope with it.  We all take it out on those we love but you can show your kids how much you love them and the bad moment will soon be forgotten by them.

You will get stronger as time goes on and once you get your treatment plan you will start to feel more in control.  I was told that and was a bit sceptical but it was true.

Try and do some nice things with your kids and treat yourself to try and take your mind of it even if just for a short time.  This is a time to be kind to yourself.

Big hugs

Cheryl,xx

Thank you for your reply Cheryl I just really can't believe how hard I'm taking this I'm normally so incontrol, organised and it's me that looks after everyone else and is the life and soul of the party. Like everyone says on here the waiting is the worse also that doesnt help, I've already planned to tare them out tomorrow just hope I don't have a breakdown again. I know it is unlikely but if the worse comes from all these testa the last thing I want my kids to remember is me being an awful shouting mummy. 

I just want to send you a great big hug

(((((HUG)))))

You are going through an incredibly tough phase just at the moment and having to be number one for such young children at the same time must be just the hardest job in the world. You will find that everything becomes much more straightforward once you are told your staging and treatment plan, and you will find that the next ten days passes much more quickly than it feels it's going to just at the moment. I'm certain that your kids will not hold lasting memories of 'an awful shouting mummy' and you'll have lots more fun together very soon indeed :-)

Be lucky

xxxxx

Tivoli

Hi all just a quick update, I've had a call from the specialist today I've got my appointment for staging and treatment on Monday I don't have to wait until next Friday, I don't know if I'm happy about it being brought forward or scared because it haa been rushed through, however like you said after this meeting I will know what the plan is. Once again just want to say thankyou for all your support you have been amazing xxxx

Hi Krs

I would definitlely feel better about the appointment being Monday - it wouldn't make any difference being 5 days earlier apart from the fact it's a relief to know what you are facing.  As someone said in a recent post you somehow find your inner strength once you know your stage and treatment plan.

Try and have the best weekend you can with your kids.  Will be thinking of you Monday and sending you lots of strength and courage.  You can do this!

Let us know how you get on.

Big hugs

Cheryl,xx

Hi Krs,

So glad to know that you don't have to wait until Friday. I wouldn't read anything extra bad into the fact that they have brought your appointment forwards. Four days is insignificant in the life of a tumour but immense in terms of your own psychology, so they have done this to ease your anxiety and nothing more. Fingers crossed that on Monday it turns out not to be as bad as all that!

Be lucky

Tivoli

xxxxx