Decisions, adoption, surrogacy?

So I've never been bothered about having children, I thought about it years ago but my ex was adamant he didn't want them. Then I was diagnosed and my life changed. Now I'm 37, friends all had/having children and I feel I'm missing out. 

Had an offer of surrogacy (their egg as mine damaged by radio) and thought about adoption as have friend who has recently adopted a baby age six months. 

Really feel that time is ticking on and do I try with one of the options as I feel I'll regret it in ten years, or do I carry on as I am? Really finding it an emotional rollercoaster right now. 

Thank you in advance. X

i think if youve been thinking about it so much, then there is no harm in researching each option further. 

if you pursue surrogacy then you or your partner need to be genetically related to the baby. if youre a single person pursuing surrogacy then you will need to use your own eggs. are you totally unable to make embryos with your own eggs? going down the surrogacy route also requires quite a huge amount of money.

im unable to give any advice regarding adoption but from what ive heard from others, its not always possible to adopt a baby (as they are usually preferred).

research as much as you can and weigh up the pros and cons of both.

good luck xxx

Hi Dolly,

I can't offer any advice of experience of making a decision around this but there is so much to consider and it's awful feeling like you're missing out on something that's happening to everyone around you. 

Like roodle says, i never think you can have too much information, and research helps. Have you looked at the direct gov sites on adoption and surrogacy? there is a lot of information on there. The adoption/ surrogacy dilemma is something me and my fiance will be looking into further when we're ready to but i know when i've looked at bits it can be so overhwelming at times but if you ahve someone that can look with you i think it helps :)

How is your friend doing with her baby? it sound slike she might be helpful with that side of the info. My friend has recently adopted 2 lovely children, they weren't babies but toddler age and they're the most amazing children and she says that she feels her family is complete now, which is lovely. 


hope you get some more info lovely and you're able to decide what to do :)

B xxx