Dealing with others reactions

Mini rant alert!!

So so cross today. One of my close friends has been telling people about my diagnosis. She's an emotional lady and has been very upset by my news. Because she was so upset I said she could mention me to some mutual friends but have now found out she has told more people and my childminder which I am fuming about as I feel I should have handled that one.


Whilst I am not keeping the fact that they found cancer in my Lletz results a big secret I also don't want it broadcast. I had very early 1a1 in my Lletz so it is the c word but it is not that bad. I would rather speak to people myself to get the story straight. What has upset me is that those she has told have then contacted me with the whole I'm really sorry poor you attitude. I don't want this I want to be really positive and focus on beating this not feeling all sad and sorry for myself. I need this to be a positive message about look the smear test works make sure u go for one etc etc.

I asked her not to tell anyone else and she had a go at me saying she thought I was fine with everyone knowing! It now feel I need to apologise to her! 



Rant over

Hi hope your ok I know what u mean I told a few close freinds and old school freinds mainly to spread awerness I was mortified when I found out one was talking about it in her salon and another freind over heard and told me all you can do is stay positive it sounds like they have caught it early so u will be fine I'm stage 1b1 n my oncologist has told me il be fine keep strong n ignore the gossips big hugs xx I'm booked in for hysterectomy on the 30th of jan hear if u want to talk via inbox to x 

I know exactly what you mean.  I decided to only tell a couple of people as I worked for 6 weeks after my diagnoses whilst they were staging me.  My manager at work, was a really gossipy women, so when I told the overall manager he told her she was not to say anything to anyone.  Next minute, in our morning meeting, she announced to the whole departement that she was not allowed to say what was wrong with me, but I was going to be having a long time off work and there was something wrong, and not to ask questions unless I say I want to talk about it!!!!!!  I said to her, 'you were not supposed to say anything', her reply 'I didn't tell them you had cancer'.

Some people love a bit of gossip, and like people to know they know something, someone else doesn't know.

Blimey April that's awful of her completely out of order.


Well my friend has been over here crying tonight going on about how hard it is for her to cope with my news. Ffs woman I am the one who has it! I told her she needs to be strong as I can't be doing with crying and negativity. She said she needed to talk to people about it as she finds it so hard to take. 

Sorry to hear of your experience Lisa. It just feels like you are losing control of your own diagnosis doesn't it! Good luck with the op on 30th Jan. I am going for lletz first but I will be back for hysterectomy if it's not clear. Do u know if it's abdominal or keyhole yet? At least u havent too long now to wait but enough time to plan. Xx 

Sorry ChandosGirl, that made me smile.  Thank God it's not your friend who's got it.  How the hell would she cope then?

Surely that's discrimination too by your manager by marking u out as different. She has really overstepped the mark as you are protected by the disability discrimination act. Did the overall manager know about this?

Lol April in a way it was like a,twisted comedy sketch where she ended up saying I know it's your illness but it's making me so upset! Glad I am not the only one finding this bizarre. 

Ho Lee Shit!

WTF are people like?? I'm lucky, I'm gazillions of miles away from everybody I know so I did a damage limitation thing of notifying everyone by very cheery email. You guys are no doubt much more connected than I am and probably have stuff like facebook. I strongly recommend putting your own chosen statement up there before tales of inaccurate proportions spread like wildfire.

And Chandos, that one who needs sympathy from you because she can't cope with your diagnosis needs a slap. I don't condone violence in any shape, manner or form, ever, but once she has learnt how to deal with a stinging face without crying about it she might begin to understand a little bit of what it's like for you.




Keyhole for me good luck with your treatment and keep positive x

Oh my goodness April, that manager needs a disciplinary hearing about that. That too sounds like a Little Britain comedy sketch! grrrr.

I know on a much smaller scale how you feel. I've had breast lump biopsies and obviously these abnormal cervical cells. I told my mother about both, who decided to tell my sister-in-laws, who told my brothers, and god knows who else that I don't know about! I sure didn't want people worrying about me before I even knew whether there was something wrong or not!

I agree with Tivoli, a positively worded facebook post is probably a good way to go about it, to ensure people know how positive you are feeling. The more open you are, the less gossip there should be - hopefully!!

Slap or injection up the fnoonoo like we have probably all had! To be fair she is mid forties so maybe it's menopause. Thanks for the comedy girls I really need to be able to laugh! 



Injection up the fnoonoo?


Sorry you have such an indiscreet pal, and boss! What a lovely soul you are to take it on the chin and laugh :-)


Injection up the fnoonoo! Hilarious! Crying with laughter again!

There was of course the occasion when my dear old mother attempted to SMS the entire family to let them know that I'd had over 50% of my ticket hall removed. Thankfully she hadn't got the hang of her new smartphone but it begged the question about which of us the description "she ain't half a c**t" most suited.



wow im sorry that some of you are dealing with people being gossipy! I was very choosy about who I told very close family and friends but understandibly they have told their friends but I guess I dont mind because I dont know them and they are probably just wanting to vent to someone about it!

this thread has made me laugh though! you girls are so funny!

Lol that made me snigger...  Which is in itself a dangerous thing. Bless ur mum!