I feel like I’ve repeated my story a lot since discovering this forum, but I’m wondering if anyone has advice or experience they can share around trying to lower anxiety/stress?
I know it’s almost a separate thing to dealing with abnormal cells and treatment, but that’s been a big factor in destroying my mental health over the last few months and I’m really struggling. I’m also scared of being trapped in a vicious circle because I worry that more stress will stop me clearing HPV - and also generally affect my physical health.
To recap quickly, I’m 38 and in a new relationship, I had a wonky period that prob wouldn’t seem like much to anyone else but was very unusual for me, thought I was also having hot flushes (prob both anxiety actually) and had a meltdown thinking I was in early menopause. I had blood tests to confirm I’m definitely not, but a smear was done and that came back abnormal and boom, I had something else to worry about. Smear said HPV and low grade call changes, had a colposcopy and biopsy and that came back as CIN2. Biopsy was thought to have removed everything, but had a small amount of cold coagulation as a precaution.
I have spoken to my GP about how badly I’ve handled this and my anxiety - she has referred me for counselling, but I don’t know how long the waiting lists are. We did discuss medication as an option and only held off in the hope that getting the treatment over with would settle my head.
But in the meantime, it’s already been stressful with the pandemic, work has recently gotten even more stressful than usual and the fertility thing has really gotten to me as a bit of a ticking time bomb. I think my underlying fear with everything is losing an amazing man I had to wait a long time for - I was single for a long time before him and I think I’d closed a lot of doors in my head. He has been nothing but supportive, but he only knows about the abnormal cells, not the fertility concerns and definitely not the extent of the anxiety as I think I’ve been scared to look “weak” or needy.
I had treatment less than two weeks ago and I had so badly hoped it would be a chance to sort my head out - but now the absolute kicker is that I seem to be losing my hair through stress. It’s long and dark, so it looks even worse than it is and I’m terrified to wash it as I lose so much. But it’s also fuelling my anxiety terribly and it’s such a hard thing to escape because I’m constantly confronted with it. I can close the laptop on work, but I can’t get away from this or stop thinking about it. I really don’t know how I can cope.