I recently have got into a new relationship and have since found out that I have high risk hpv!
We haven’t had sex but I have given him unprotected oral sex once. I guess I’m really worried that I might have now given it to him? And that if I get over the virus he could possibly give it back to me!
Just wondering how other couples cope with finding out they have hpv? Especially as they don’t do tests for men, as far as I’m aware 
You shouldn’t worry. At least 80% of the population has HPV. Would you ever say to a partner, “by the way, I had a wart on my finger once, and a veruca on my foot”. No. And yet they are strains of HPV.
My point is that it’s so common, it’s not a big deal at all. By all means, say to your partner than your smear has come back HPV positive if you wish to, but most importantly, just keep going for your smears to keep an eye on the cells, as that is what is important here.
Thank you for your message!
I decided to tell my partner that I have hpv! He was really supportive 
I recently had a hpv positive smear test and will be recalled in 12 months as they found no abnormal cells. My concern is I have had treatment for cin3 30 years ago, but having been married for 40 years now, (monogamously) how have I got another infection. It means to me my husband has been unfaithful, but he swears not of course, and is now saying it must have lain dormant in him for 40 years. I am now considering ending the marriage, please let me know if I’m over reacting, but 40 years is stretching it I think, and it seems to have confirmed my worse fears of his infidelity.
Hopefully I have posted this in the correct place on the forum, apologies if not, this is my first post. Thank you.
I have posted this opinion before, but I think it’s really valid here. Unless you have other reason to think your husband is unfaithful, I do not think you can deduce this in relation to HPV alone.
HPV is one of the mysteriously common, silent viruses (like HSV, that causes cold sores) that we don’t really understand fully because it lives long term in the human body and most of the time causes no harm. Most of the time it is undetectable and because of this we do not ever know if it can be ‘cured’. If you read medical journals about it you will see that when people refer to it as ‘gone’ it indicates that it cannot be detected; i.e. it is inactive. Like the HSV virus, which is also thought never to leave your body, it is not always active but can become active during periods of stress when your immunity is low; this can be referred to as an ‘infection’. Otherwise the body’s immune system keeps it under check. We cannot know if it is truly ‘gone’ (as in eradicated) because while it is inactive (or dormant, as people say) there is no way to test for it. There is no blood test that will show if there is HPV in the body.
Cervical smear tests look for the active virus in the area of the cervix. The virus only has the potential to cause cell changes while it is in an active state. Many women are never subject to cell changes even if the virus is active at some times. HPV is extremely common, as is HSV Herpes Simplex). Some people have more flare-ups of warts, for example, than others and some people have periods when they have cold sores regularly for a while. HPV really is common and it’s not something that can be ‘removed’ with treatment like infections. It can also be vaccinated against, although (like with many vaccines) this doesn’t necessarily mean you won’t get every strain of HPV. There are about 200 strains, and they can cause small changes in different parts of the body (like warts, which everyone knows about).
Whilst all this isn’t reassuring from the point of view of ‘getting rid of it’, it does mean that if you have repeat incidents of detection of HPV years apart it does not suggest that you’ve been ‘reinfected’; more like it simply was not active all the time. The adult who gets Shingles, after having chickenpox as a child, has not been reinfected. The chickenpox virus also stays dormant but inactive in the body - yes, easily for 40 years. About one-third of all people who have been infected with chickenpox later develop the disease known as herpes zoster, or shingles.
None of us can tell you what to do, but I would advise not panicking, but looking at everything else in your life. Have you been under stress recently? Stress is one reason why the HPV virus could flare up. The other thing to remember is that HPV has only recently been routinely tested for in smear tests. It could potentially have been active before but without causing cell changes, in the same way is it is likely to caused your CIN3 years ago.
Thank you so much for your detailed response, it’s made me realise maybe I should stop over thinking it. Thank you for taking the time to answer, I really appreciate it. I’m so pleased to have found this helpful and reassuring forum.
