Completely terrified

I have spent hours on the board over the last 4 days, and none of it seems real. Completely terrifoed. 

 

Had hospital phone me to book appointment for urgent colposcopy. As soon as I sat in the room the consultant said the results of my smear showed ?invasive carcinoma cells. He then proceeded to do the colposcopy and did the LLETZ straight away. He said that he had to take away more than normal and he found it difficult to stop me bleeding. He wants me to have an mri and another appointment with him as soon as the results are in. I'm 25 and have a 3 year old little girl. I am in complete shock. 

i lost a baby back in June, had a vaginal scan and abdominal then, as well as quite a thorough look at my cervix due to a lost mirena coil. nobody mentioned anything abnormal??

 

This was my first smear, but just find it so hard to believe it could be cancer...have done the worst thing and played Dr Google. I'm a nurse and havimg some medical knowledge is horrible. 

 

Scared of leaving begind my beautiful little girl, scared of not having kids, scared of everything basically. 

 

This waiting is the worst bit :( 

 

sorry for for the ramble x

 

 

Also had v large black grainy clots the day after my Lletz, just very small amount of discharge now. Is this normal? The clots so soon??

Hello brolly, first of all im really sorry to hear what you're going through and big hugs. The clots and stuff is normal as far as I'm aware (I certainly had lots) but always best to ring and check in case it's an infection. The waiting is awful just try and give yourself lots of nice jobs to do. Good luck with the results and keep posting on here, there's always be someone who's been through what you're going through to offer reassurance :). Xxx

Hi,

I support JoJo's comment. Waiting is very definitely the worst part. I have a friend who was diagnosed exactly how you were and she has just been given the all clear after a successful cone biopsy. The clotting and bleeding is the norm i'm afraid. I don't think that helps psychologically either. Ring your gp if it continues as it can be a sign of infection and a course of antibiotics can clear it up. Love and hugs to you. Remain positive. Whatever the outcome, the doctors will be conscious of your age and the fact you want more children. There are other options than just a hysterectomy. Try and stay busy - but not busy on Google!!! X

Hello lovely. Try and take comfort from the fact the Dr is looking after you and you are in good hands. He knows what he is doing. I had lletz yesterday and I have passed some black clotty stuff! I was told this would be normal. It's a worrying time and of course you will be scared it's only natural, but you are being sorted out and I'm sure you will be okay xxxx

Hi xbrollyx,

I have nothing to add to the very wise words above, but just wanted to send you a big hug. I am so sorry for your loss, and hope that you get some answers really soon x x

Thanks everyone, I'm so exhausted from not sleepig. Wish I had some sort of timeline before results but have nothing!

 

would like to know one way or another, the wait is painful.

 

thanks for all the kind words x

Waiting is horrible isn't it! Try and focus on the fact you had scans internals recently so even if it was the dreaded vile word it would be early and if you aren't finished having children there are other alternatives like another lletz or cone etc. 

Big hugs though I know it's hard but try and keep busy doing things you normally enjoy. Stay away from google.  Keep in touch xxxx