And I'm really starting to get nervous now. I am dreading them saying the cells look cancerous, dreading them saying I can't have any treatment tomorrow and just generally petrified. The waiting is such hard work and waiting for treatment knowing that it means that there are too many cells to remove under a local. Arrrrgh. Sorry, just a bit of a pointless post. I know i won't know anything at all until tomorrow.
Hi Kirin,
Are you at home or at work just now? Either way it's probably a tad too early for a glass of wine ;-) If you're at work are you able to keep busy and distract yourself or is it all too overwhelming? Can you do some kind of mantra thing? Convince yourself it's all a lot of excitement over nothing and that come tomorrow you'll be walking away laughing and slightly embarrassed about worrying so much? If not, then try to work out what is the most distracting film you can possibly watch and make sure you watch that when you get home tonight. Something with lots of adrenaline should do the trick :-)
Let us know how you get along :-)
Tivoli
Hi Kirin,
Just wanted to say hi and send you lots of good wishes J. I had a colposcopy and LLETZ 4 weeks ago so I’m really aware of the unbelievably high levels of anxiety that come with the wait. I actually felt much better once I’d been seen and had lots explained to me at the colposcopy….I had loads of questions for the nurse so it might be worth you noting any you have down as I forgot quite a few of mine. Is somebody going with you tomorrow? Have you had an abnormal smear result and so been referred? The colposcopy and treatment (if you even need it) I found to be fine and not painful. J x
Tivoli - I'm at work which seems to be where I panic more! I'm more relaxed at home although starting to think about the colposcopy before I go to sleep now. I don't know if I'm going to need time off work (and work are far from sympathetic) and we move house in a week so are trying to pack up the house. I really really want them to be able to treat me tomorrow. I can't bear the waiting!
Hi Vicki - yeah, I was told high grade dyskaryosis and then the nurse at my GP practice said her letter said high grade severe so I'm thinking CIN3 is the most likely, well that and CC of course.
It really is one of the most stressful periods of my life. What is frustrating is that I've just had multiple tests at a recurrent miscarriage clinic and was given the all clear for any STIs or anything else potentially untoward but I must have HPV if I've got an abnormal result so why was it missed. I was literally given a clean bill of health, kidneys, lungs everything working well. Those tests involved ultra sounds, blood tests, internal examinations. I got my letter from the recurrent miscarriage clinic the same week I got the letter from the hospital for the colposcopy.
Thank you both for the positive responses, I shall let you know how I get on tomorrow. I really do hope I come away feeling slightly foolish for being so worried.
You poor thing going through all this AND moving house. No wonder you are feeling stressed! Shame on your work for not being supportive. I think that is dreadful. Please try not to worry too much. A colposcopy is not much of an ordeal at all, just a slightly prolonged smear test really. Can't speak for the treatment but people say it really isn't that bad. They will definitely make sure you are fully anaesthetised if they do decide to go ahead with it there and then. I'd say you would need a couple of days off after the treatment and to avoid any strenuous exercise/heavy lifting for a couple of weeks but they will tell you about that when you're there. I'm sure they will at least be able to put your mind at rest. This really is not a rare condition.
So frustrating and upsetting to encounter this after gettign a clean bill of health but HPV doesn't seem to count as an STI that is tested for in clinics. It's only tested for in cervical smears that come back showing changes, and that's it. Men are never tested for it. It's also extremely common in the population. Hope you are feeling okay. I know you will be just fine. xx
You have nothing to feel foolish about – It’s completely natural to worry so much especially with the heartache you’ve experienced re your miscarriages….I’m really sorry.L I was told my smear showed severe changes but the biopsy following my LLETZ showed CIN 2 only so it really may not be as bad as you think and all those other tests you have had recently show that you look to be fighting fit!! J I think being stressed in the workplace heightens anxiety, I was much calmer behind closed doors at home….Hopefully you will receive some reassurance after your visit to the colposcopy clinic tomorrow and the worst bit of waiting will be over with. x
I wanted to say thank you for all of your lovely websites. It really helps to be able to tell someone who understands the anxiety. I'll let you know how I get on tomorrow. xx
Lovely responses not websites!
Good luck today Kirin! :) xx
Thank you. My appointment is at 1.30pm so I'll let you know how I get on later. I am really hoping for some reassurance.
So, the colposcopy went ahead yesterday. I was incredibly nervous and cried in the waiting room and then cried again when I saw the consultant. She told me that I wouldn't be having any treatment just the colposcopy which really upset me as I couldn't bear to wait anymore.
Anyway, a confusing result for me. Positively she said she was sure it is all still pre-cancerous. She said she actually thinks the cells are not at a very high grade whatever that means but she also said that the cells seem higher up (?) and that has made me think possibly CGIN? The biopsy results will take 4-6 weeks to come back and she then said it might be that I have treatment or that I'm called back in 4 months time for another smear / colposcopy (can't remember which).
So I am totally relieved by her confidence that it is precancerous but now worried it'll be CGIN which seems to be a lot less common. I can't understand the inconsistency between the smear and her thoughts about the grade. I think I'll be able to cope with the waiting now though although I am sure my heart will be in my mouth when the results come through.
What do people think about the inconsistency and the cells being higher up?
Hi Kirin,
I’m so glad the consultant was so confident that you’re not looking at anything scary! The fact she’s even suggested that you may just be called back for another colposcopy and not necessarily need treatment confirms she wasn’t sure that you’re even looking at a high grade abnormality so I’d be really reassured by that. J My smear apparently showed severe changes but my biopsy confirmed cin2 only so I know that the abnormalities can be ‘downgraded’. I think the smear is just really an indicator at times and that’s why further assessment is necessary. Although I haven’t experienced a CGIN abnormality myself, I have seen many ladies on here who have and have been treated effectively so try not to let that upset you and focus on the consultants positivity and enjoy your weekend! xxx
Thanks Vicky. I do feel reassured, I really do. I woke up feeling a sense of relief. I do now wonder if the letters we receive are so harshly written simply to scare people into turning up to further investigations. I can say that I will always be a strong advocate of smear tests from now on!
I'll "look forward" to my biopsy results and thank god it's the weekend. As I'm moving house next week I have some time off coming up and I really feel like I need it now.
Thanks for all the support. xx
