It’s my first post on this forum having only just joined this evening.
I received my abnormal smear test results on November 16th.
My original Colposcopy date was 2nd December but I managed to get a cancellation booked for November 24th.
The Colposcopy wasn’t as bad as I had imagined…I use a non-hormonal IUD copper coil for contraception and found havibg that fitted was a far more uncomfortable experience.
The nurse examined my cervix and invited me to view the screen if I should so wish…being very nervous and slightly squeamish at the prospect I declined as I wouldn’t know what I was looking at anyway.
So she visually inspected my cervix and told me everything looked very normal however the computer scanner had advised her to take a punch biopsy which she said was nothing untoward…but not something she would’ve done otherwise.
The punch biopsy (lovely name and not daunting or intimidating at all) felt like a light pinch and I was advises to cough at the appropriate time…not sure that had any pain alleviation benefits or was just a tool of distraction for the anxious patient.
They took 2 biopsies as the nurse wasn’t happy with the first…then it was clothes on and back out into the world…whilst I felt a little world weary I got on with the rest of my day as usual afterwards.
Today December 15th I called the clinic to see if my results were back as I’m the impatient and anxious type…
The Colposcopy Secretary told me a letter is on it’s way to me and a further appointment has been made on December 30th for “treatment”
Well now here I am after a couple of hours reading various random pages on the big C.
I’m anxious…nervous and feel the lack of human contact or support through the situation so far has been palpable.
My mum died suddenly in 2011 aged 57 of undiagnosed cancer of an unknown primary. I’m feeling so alone in this…I feel nobody around me truly understands…why would they? This is a personal journey where I am facing up to everything about myself…who am I…Who do I want to be…what have I done…what do I still want to do…
I feel pessimistic as I felt buoyed after the nurses Colposcopy conments about just discharging me and referring me back to regular smears…the false optimism now tinged by the letter which I’ve yet to read…
Thank you if you’ve read this far…I needed to get it off my chesr to people who would understand and have shared this journey in their own way xxx