First of all let me tell you I know exactly what you are going through..You think you are bad...I hadn't had a pap in 25 years, I am a 50 year old woman with abnormal periods for a few years due to my age and fibroids to be told 3 years later I have to have a biopsy....So do I know how scared you are? yes I do as I started thinking my periods were cancer not my age or the fibroids and I thought I ignored it fopr 3 years...I was diagnosed with severe high grade cancer cells...
The surgery you are having is a cone biopsy...Its nothing and you feel no pain through it and mild menstrual like pains after...The reason you'll probaly have the cone like I did was because of the severity of cells on the cervix (this is what my doctor told me)...Now the good news is, I had it done and I have clear margins...They cut a cone shape of my cervix...I did have stitches but they resolve on their own and no pain with it...I go for my 6 month follow-up in October...
Because of my fear, and having lost a mother to cervical cancer, I asked a bunch of questions and did every possible research you can think about...The doctors told me it is a slow growing cancer can take many years for C1N 3 to grow into cancer...And when I mean many years, 10 or more... My fear was that I never had a pap test in many years, I'm not sexually active so how could I've had HPV all this time without it turning to cancer right?
I know my message is long, but if you are as scared as I was, it will help ease your mind. Now don't panic, when I say my mother died of cancer...hers was a different story. My mom had a hysterectomy after I was born so she never had a pap test as she thought she didn't need one again. What she didn't know was it was a partial hysterectomy and she only found when she had gotten the cancer. (she could have sewed that doctor, but he was long dead since). I must mention this because when people see me write my mother died of it, they get scared becaues of what we are going through, but hers was under different circumstances...She did go into remission but when it came back 8 years later, she ignored the signs for 2 years because she was scared until it was too late. And my doctor explained everything to me cuz I kept thinking what if it turns to cancer before the surgery and all the wait time etc, but don't as I mentioned it takes a long time...My mother could have had hers for over 30 years and didn't know it because like I said she never had a pap as she thought she didn't need one anymore.
And like you, I couldn't sleep, my anxiety was sky high, cried non-stop and because I saw my mother die of it, I wanted to end my life thinking I didn't want to suffer what she had...Thank God I didn't. Trust your doctors..A pre-cancer is 100 percent curable. What they will do in the surgery is you will just drift off to sleep...You won't even feel like you are falling asleep...Last thing I heard the doctor say to me is "in about 20 seconds you will fall asleep" and next thing I heard was my name being woken up...I didn't even feel my eyes closing...You wake up right away and it is over like no time has passed..First words out of my mouth was "did I fall asleep?' lol ...You don't feel any major pain..I wasn't even drowsy when I woke up. You'll feel a bit of menstrual cramps and if you'd had that through the years, you'll be able to handle that. lol Trust me, I know what you are going through, I cried the day of my surgery thinking I wont wake up being put under etc...When it was done, I felt like a fool being worried...Try to relax and keep us updated...I know that is easy for me to say, but you will be okay...Trust me when I say this...I am a smoker, high blood pressure, severe anemic and all thoughts were going through my mind was what if I stop breathing, what if my blood pressure goes high when I'm under, what if I'm too weak to wake up from being anemic etc...Trust me, all thoughts go through your mind when you're going through this, but trust, you will be 100 percent okay.
Put it this way, as I said I haven't had a pap in25 years, and my last pap was slightly abnormal and stupid me never went back and 25 years later it was only high grade pre-cancer (Not Cancer). So that shows you how long it takes. Either that or I was really lucky, but I don't think so...If I wasn't anemic, my fam doc wouldn't have known that I was anemic from heavy periods (due to my fibroids), and yes, I do have fibroids. He sent me to a ob/gyn to check for the size of my fibroids to see if they need removing and thats when she took a bunch of tests due to my age and found out on my pap that I had high grade.
Again sorry if my message is long, but if you are as scared as I was, you will appreciate all the info as I did...I hope it helps to relieve your mind. Try to relax. hugz