I got my all clear this week!
Through the whole experience I have read this forum compulsively so I'd like to just post my positive outcome story for anybody out there going through similar.
I had a smear in July which came back as severe dyskaryosis. It scared the absolute crap out of me and I went into melt down for a few days. For those of you going through this now - it is not your falult. Nearly everyone who is sexually active has the HPV virus and there are many strains and it's just one of those things that some people can't fight it off as well and it ends up causing cervical cell changes. Also it can lie dormant for absolutely ages - it does not mean your partner has cheated on you. It Is nothing to be ashamed of. You're just unlucky it's developed but also very lucky its beeen flagged up.
Everyone reacts differently to proceedures like a colposcopy. I found it more emotional than I thought and got very teary. Some people are fine with it. Don't let anyone tell you that you should feel any differently than you do - everyone copes in their own way!
It turned out to be CIN 3 for me and quite extensive so it was removed under a general anaesthetic LLETZ. This was absolutely painless and I was lucky enough to have a very smooth, easy recovery with very little bleeding. It was like a very light period for three weeks. I read lots about passing a big clot/ scab thing after 10 days but this didn't happen for me. Again, everyone has different healing experiences. Th anaesthetic properly knocked me for 6 for a good 4 days though which I wasn't really prepared for.
To those of your getting that letter post smear - yes it is scary, yes you are allowed to have a freak out and yes there are lots of people on this forum who can support you. Ask all the questions, have a rant when you need it and be kind to yourself.