CIN3 & Relationship 'space'


I hope the ladies on this forum do not mind a male posting his feelings after his partner had treatment for CIN3 grades cells. Please let me explain my situation.

I have been in a healthy, happy relationship for a good 6 months; however, following her treatment for the CIN3 and the colposcopy she's been extremely frosty with me and has recently asked for a few weeks space away from me. I understand and respect her wishes but I am somewhat confused as I have supported her relentlessy during this unpleasant experience. I went to the hospital for the procedure and asked to watch videos online to understand in greater detail what she went through. I ensured we sat together and read the feedback from all the brave women out there who have also been through similar experiences. We both found it to be useful and reassuring. Despite this, a week on and she's panicking. She has asked for space away from me as this procedure has really knocked her confidence. She's concerned that she may never have children and I feel powerless. I have done my level best to support her and reassure her everything will be fine. She looked me in the eyes on the evening she asked for space and told me she loved me but I am now in a real state of disarray. Not having any contact and not knowing when the results will come through is leaving me feeling rather raw. 

I am sad and lonely and I guess airing my feelings in a forum that's fundamental to her feelings, helps me a lot.

Not sure what to do or say.

Thanks for any forthcoming support and words of comfort.




As a woman that has just had a cc diagnosis I can understand that this is a very scary time for BOTH of you. Cin 3 if I understand correctly is completely treatable and in the vast majority of cases doesn't lead to cc or infertility. This being said it must still be very hard for your girlfriend to get her head around. My partner is amazing and I cannot imagine him not being here, however I think that maybe your gf feels she needs time to come to terms with this. I would advise you give her the space she's asking for, let her know how you feel and that you are there for her. Continue to support her in the way you have been and if it's meant to be it will be.

All the best.

Hi adam

Im sorry to read about your situation, it must be sad for you and I'm sure it will get better soon. I had the same procedures as your girlfriend, also with CIN 3. 

I can also understand her feelings too - the whole experience knocked me sideways and was such an anxious and worrying time . I was also fed up with doctors prodding around and for me, even now nearly 3 months post treatment , I'm still worried and anxious about having any intimate contact again. I can't explain why this is but I was fine before ..I found myself in that situation with my ex just recently and I could think of nothing worse than anything being " down there" . He was understanding but told me I need to get over this eventually , but I seem to have lost my confidence somehow :-( . Maybe she just needs time to get her head together. All you can do is be patient and continue to be there for her. That will mean a lot to her 


Wishing you the best 

Hi Adam, 

Having been in a similar situation to your girlfriend, I can totally understand where she's coming from! Although my other half could probably explain your side of things....

The knowledge that part of your body that's so hidden and seemingly harmless can potentially change your life is terrifying. She may also feel a weird sense of guilt at potentially not being able to have kids and fear that it will come back. 

The main tricky thing for you is the relatively short period of time you've been together before this horrible thing has turned up. You probably haven't even thought about talking about the big important life changes like kids and all of that, your girlfriend is now probably worrying that she won't be able to do those things. She may even tell you to leave her, I know I gave my boyfriend the 'get out of jail free' card when I was diagnosed. I also spent more time than I'd like to admit trying to figure out where the HPV had been picked up from and trying to find someone to blame. 

Unfortunately I can't really give you anything helpful, give her time and space.

The wait for results is vile I can understand that all too well! But they will come and you can hopefully work together to deal with whatever they bring. You may want to consider your options as well - how important are kids to you, would you consider adoption or egg donation?, prepare yourself for her to be angry at the situation and brace yourself for the emotional fall out and to be told to go away. You sound like you really care for her so I'm sure you'll be fine :) 

hang in there! 

K xx

Hey everyone, this site has been so amazing to read through after going through this treament, so supportive and informative.  I had lletz 4-5 weeks ago now thought I was all good to go with almost no bleeding and discharge, then I got my period just after my follow up appointment where my specialist said it was all healed and healthy. It was far heavier than any other time - so horrible. 

I too have struggled with this procedure and going through everything. I have been really worried about having sex again. My partner has been great, but I don't feel sexy and feel like I have completely lost my confidence. 

Has anyone else felt like this? Is this normal? How did you get back into it? 

I can't help but feel bad he has been without for what feels like forever haha. 

S xx