I'm really sorry to hear you've had such a negative experience. I've had two colposcopys now - one a few years ago and one yesterday. I didnt realise how much of a difference being treated nice makes! the first one I was alone with a male doctor, I didnt have a gown or anything and I had sat down on the chair on my dress so the solutions went all over it and stained it - I had to walk home with a giant stained wet patch and I didnt even have a coat! I felt very judged by the man - basically felt like he was insuating that I'd got myself into this situation and I should calm down and gace it sort of thing
Yesterday, the ladies were so kind and helpful and it made such a difference. You are in such a vulnerable position (emotionally and physically) and they need to treat you with care.
When it comes to your results I think they mark things as urgent a lot and its a good thing because you will hear back sooner. I'm the worst worrier in the world but we have to force ourselves not too.
Be kind to yourself about the bleeding - I have had bleeding too for years and have mentioned it at smears and noone ever escalated it. The reason why is that looooooads of women experience it and for most of them its fine. You had reason to suspect its something else. And anyway, you have had the smear at the age you are supposed to - you couldnt have done much more to take care of yourself!
I hope that you get the all clear soon and that you cope with the worry and fear ok in the meantime.
Thanks Janie! That's really good to hear. I'm glad it is not just me. I thought maybe I was being a bit over sensitive, or even a bit of a wimp as surely she wouldn't have put me in that much pain on purpose. But you're right I shouldn't be blaming myself for any of this. The colposcopist should be used to dealing with women who are feeling frightened and vulnerable and should be more gentle. And although I could have done more about the bleeding I had reason to believe it was nothing to worry about.
I think I am just angry at the whole situation, and I have nobody to direct my anger at so I'm getting angry with myself!
I feel very angry about all this sometimes too! It feels so unfair that anyone should have to deal with this. Nature is so cruel!
I am also 25 and have also had treatment for CIN3 and High grade CGIN and have to go back for a colposcopy every 4 months for the next 5 years.
I feel like I've only just begun to get my head around it even though I was diagnosed back in April - my second Colposcopy is on Wednesday.
I've struggled to find a lot of info about having both CIN3 and high grade CGIN so if you want to chat let me know as we sound as we have had a vety similar diahnosis.
Hopefully chat soon.
Oh girls I just want to give you all a giant hug!
Kay don't be angry with yourself, sometimes these things happen. I had my FIRST smear test last month at the age of 28, I have put it off for years, I feel irresponsible especially as I have a two year old but I have to remind myself to stop blaming myself and concentrate on what is happening and what it all potentially means now and the future, its so much more productive and you feel so much more in control when you know what is happening,
Now my Colp nurse has never once mentioned 'Cancer' however from all the research I have done the high grade abnormal cells are potentially precancerous, I understand they don't want to scare us, but I personally prefer knowing exactly what is happening but feel a lot of doctors and nurses want to shy away and not reslly explain what the hell is happening to us!
Big hug to all. xx
Hi Cleopatrab, I have sent you a message in your inbox if you would like to chat x