Sorry if this has been raised before but I'm at work so can't really scroll through all the forum posts :/
I had my first smear about 2.5 weeks ago and the nurse told me that everything looked lovely and healthy down there, however I got 2 letters through, from my GP & the hospital, stating that I have CIN2 and have my colposcopy booked in the 9th July. I've read up on the colposcopy and the treatments etc which all seem fine, well not fne but not too horrendous, but I was wondering if you can have CIN2 or 3 cells as well as having cancerous cells. I ask because the nurse genuinely seemed like she thought all would be ok with my results (I know that the human eye can't always spot these things and I'm now cursing my trusting nature and naivety) so I was a little shocked when I got the letters through and now my mind is in overdrive wondering whether there are CIN2 cells at the base but something worse lurking further in. A majority of me knows that I'm being OTT and that if the hospital thought it was serious then I wouldn't be waiting for 3 weeks for the colposcopy..... but there's that small niggling feeling of what if that I@m sure I'm not alone in feeling!
It is totally normal to feel like this! I left my smear all fine and dandy (although I did feel a bit crampy and a bit sorry for myself lol) with the nurses words of 'it's SO rare for people of your age (25, first smear) to have any problems, don't worry' in my ears and got the biggest shock when I had a call from the hospital about ten days later asking me to come in in exactly a week for an appointment. I was absolutely petrified, didn't sleep and barely ate for that week. Like you I naturally expect the worst, my rational mind was going over all the statistics and stuff but my ridiculous mind won for the week (and several weeks following the LLETZ - I genuinely considered going to a therapist/councellor type person).
Unfortunately you're now in the waiting stage (waiting for colposcopy, waiting for results...) which is the WORST thing, but they can give you an indication at the colposcopy what grade they think you have (my coposcopy nurse said I definitely had CIN2 but it wasn't as bad as she expected (what that meant I do NOT know and haven't dwelled on haha I've taken it as 'normally CIN2 looks worse than this lol) and then after they take loads of time to talk to you about what happens next and will answer any questions you have about what happens next. They also give you the number of the clinic to call directly if you have any questions you think of after or if you have any concerns or anything.
I don't really have any tips on coping with the wait (I did not cope well and it was only a week haha) but I found, in a weird way, indulging my worst case scenario helped - I found I'd worst cased myself out a couple of times (kind of like crying when you feel sad, being really mopey for an hour, and then being all 'god what am I crying for, I'm bored now, get on with things'. Otherwise, I found that doing puzzles kept my mind off things (sudoku, number jig things and word jig things) I could't really concentrate on the telly or films because the littlest thing would happen and I'd be reminded of what was happening..
As per I've waffled but I hope this has made you feel a bit better x x x x
Thankyou so much - I'm very much a half glass empty type of person, which is definitely not helping me at the moment. I've always been of the view that if I expect the worst then the only way is up thereafter! I'm finding it so hard to concentrate, my BF has been great and is the most rational guy in the world which helps a lot but it's mainly at work I find myself drifting off into various scenarios and re-reading all about CIN and treatments etc, even though I've read everything I could find (as well as searched google images, which wasn't the best idea I've ever had!). Normally with something like this I'd turn to my sister but she's getting married next weekend so I really don't want to offload all my fears onto her, and I have no other women in my life I can talk to. I'm really hoping her wedding distracts me for a few days (chief bridesmaid/eyebrow plucker/nail painter).
I can barely stand waiting for the kettle to boil let alone 3 weeks for a hosp. appointment. It's so good to hear that other women feel just as irrational about all the worrying and the what-ifs!! I feel like such an idiot for not having my smear at 25 (I'm 28 at the end of this year) as I have 2 friends who were both under 25, that were hit with cervical cancer, but I know I should be looking at the positives of that as well - they're both still here and have been clear for years :D
Anyhoo, I've waffled on but thank you for sharing this, I really appreciate it
Oh my god tell me about it - I sat for hours at work (clearly not working!) and googling slightly different versions of CIN/colposcopy/Cervical Cancer to see what different things would come up. And, sadly, I too have googled images (although I did find one site called Beautiful Cervix which was good!)
Aw I bet your sisters wedding will do the trick :) If you need anyone to talk to just pop onto Jo's - it kept me sane! Definitely don't go down the what if road though - think of it like this, if you'd had your smear t 25 it might have been normal anyway. And if it wasnt and it was borderline or CIN1 you'd just be going back for repeat colposcopy/smears anyway so it's unlikley anything would be different, you'd just have been monitored. What's happened has happened but you can change what you do from here on in :)
If you've got any questions about what happens during the colposcopy or LLETZ or anything I'm more than happy to share my experience :) x x x
So I had my colposcopy on Tuesday and the very lovely colposcopist said that she couldn't be sure one way or the other so she's taken a biopsy and now I have to wait 4-5 weeks for the results of that. The dyes didn't really show up much however there were a few visible red patches which worried me a little as they weren't there when I had my smear (the nurse said everything looked very healthy etc). Does anyone know if hormones can change the colour and appearance of the cervix??
I do understand that she didn't want to treat me if it was unnecessary however I'm feeling really low and bothered by the whole thing, if my smear shows abnormal cells then surely CIN2 isn't just going to disappear on it's own so why not just treat me anyway?! It doesn't help that it's not at my local hospital so it involves a bit of a trek to get there everytime (I currently have no car and taxis are just way too expensive so it's a train and then a 40 min walk each way) and a whole day off work.
I did find the colposcopy quite interesting though, I watched all of it (except the biopsy bit, I couldn't bring myself to see that) on the monitor and apparently I have a very small and neat cervix which I found amusing.
Sorry for wafflign on yet again, just needed to get it all out of my system. xx