Oh hun I'm so sorry your having such a tough time. I couldn't look at the picture cause I'm very squeamish and this was my first experience of a smear so I'm not used to that area being poked and prodded (my boyfriend came in also and nearly fainted lol). But I know they removed about 25mm X 15mm and the entire area was cin3 which is why I have to have more treatment. Can you pinpoint what it is that is scaring you the most? If they saw anything on the screen that indicated cc they would have told you. Have you had clear smears in the past? I was told by my oncologist that it takes 6-8 years for abnormal cells to develop into cancer. It's very easy to dwell on the things that could be, but focus on the fact that your in very good hands, once the lletz is over that should be the end of it and you can get back to normal life again. When is your lletz procedure? In terms of symptoms, I don't know, I try not to think about it because I end up worrying about every tiny little thing, but the only thing I think was possibly related was pain during sex which at the time I just thought was normal.
Hey kh27 hope you had some sleep. i opted for GA as i was so nervous in Colposcopy that day was a bit of a blur. I have been a wreck since May im surprised i still have a partner. I have cried bucket loads, cried at the slightest of things, everything going through my mind, druck gallons of wine. The waiting is the worst part trust me. When i went for my colposcopy i was shaking the nurse took my name, dob, address etc the told me that i didnt have cancer and the main reason i was here was because i smoked. Good start i thought. Then she made me sit in the bed for 20 mins waiting for doc. I think every part of me was shaking by then. Doc didnt introduce herself or didnt speak, explain anything to me i could see on the screen the abnormal cells turning white. The nurse told me i needed treatment and was it ok to ahead i panicked and opted for GA, nurse told me to get dressed and leave through a different door. I had to go to my gp to find out what next. On tuesday i had the same doctor again but managed to make her smile this time! they will ring me in 2 weeks if there is anything if not they will see me in 6months. My symptoms were bleeding after sex and pelvic pain. When i was reading the forum i was like yeah yeah the waiting is the worst part but it is actually the worst part because its always on your mind and you think the worst. I do believe now. Xx
Really hope you managed to get some sleep kh27, do you know when you will have your treatment? I had mine this morning and was over in about 10 mins the inejection was a little uncomfortable but was so glad it was all done so quickly. months of worrying for a 10 minute procedure :-/ my doctor was not the chattiest person but the nurses were really lovely and so reassuring. It's a waiting game now to make sure they got it all and a smear again in 6 months. I really hope you mange to get an appointment quickly and manage to sleep and relax a little. Thank you so much for listening to me. Im so glad I found this site x x
Glad it went well B'321, fingers crossed that's the end of it for you now xxx Yes, i was the same at my colposcopy, Harri- am sure they've labelled my notes 'wacko'! Hope you're still feeling ok. I have just been to drs and he's given my some sleeping pills and propranolol to help with anxiety- just hope it helps. Jojo84, i find it hard to pinpoint any one thing thats worrying me tbh- i do have a tendency to overthink things so this is a minefield for me! Just the examinations freak me out- it just feels so violating, so even if this does end with the lletz, it still seems so hard. I did a ridiculously stupid thing and watched some online videos of the procedure- not something i'd recommend to anyone on here who ever wants to sleep again!! And i can't shake the thought that i really could have cancer and quite apart from dying (which would obviously suck!!), if these proceedures have to become part of my life, I don't think I can cope. Just looking at my reflection in laptop screen- the crying, drinking and not sleeping seem to have aged me 10 bloody yrs already- can't believe i've just been out like this. Surprised the dr didn't nail me into a wooden box there and then!! xx
Sorry Jojo, didn't answer your other questions- don't have the appt yet for the lletz but will probably be 4 wks time. I had a normal smear 6 years ago but tbh i'm thinking if my current smear said low-grade when really i'm cin 3, it's prob possible that 6 yrs ago they cd have swabbed a healthy bit when really the cervix was starting to mutate elsewhere! So many questions and ifs and buts...
Another question hopefully someone can answer if they too have had a colposcopy but no biopsy- after colpo yesterday my cervix feels slightly tingly still. It's not painful but does that sound normal?
I add new post today, you can read whole story how my lletz gone this morning. Well , it didnt go well at all. You can find my new post I added couple of hours ago.
Regarding your question about life style changing I took a lot of advcie from researching books and internet.
I am going to try work with Neuropath Doctor as i dont have any option left (read my story in my new post "Just came back from lletz
"
I am booking for next week but as already mention I already made changes:
No more coffe (which I loved)
No more alcohol
Only green tea , in evening camomile tea for calm sleep
Folic acid daily
Zinc and selenium daily
Turmeric (antiviral, anti cancer, anti fungal) - I drink it every day now as tea - 1 cup of water, 1 spoon turmeric, 1 small chunk of ginger and splash of milk. Boil and drink hot.
Fish oli omega 3
Vitamin C
Lots of vegetables (best row, carrots - beta carotene very important, bricoli and other green vegetables)
Lots of fruits
Exercises (no need go to gym, at leats 15 min at home every day)
Yoga (borrowed book from library and practising yoga at home)
So thats what I did so far.
I am going to meet that dr next week and will be takin remedies he ll presctribed and lets see what happen :))
If you want read about natural methods of reversing cin send me your email I will send you. I try to attach links here but it didnt let me post with website links (strange !!)
Reading through this makes me feel so much less alone! I am such a mess. I've tried responding to other posts just to keep focused on doing something, but in reality I myself am just a total and utter emotional wreck. Reading through this thread makes me feel like it's perfectly normal to feel this way, and that I'm not the only one finding this extremely difficult! Usually I can't stay awake past 10pm, and yet here I am at almost 1am on a Saturday night, wide awake and reading through every thread on this site. I really don't know what I would do without it!! How do you girls keep distracted whilst waiting for results? It's just awful, I am hating every second. I get my results in 2 weeks and I just can't see how I can get through the next two weeks at all. My mind is a total whirlind. The stress is so bad that I just have to constantly be doing something, I can't just chill out. All I can think is what if the lletz shows cancer. I am 26 and DESPERATE to try for a baby, I've already been told I have to wait 6 months after the lletz and I am just terrified it's going to be something bad. I keep trying to be positive and think that it was most likely just CIN and that the doctor has got rid of it all. But then why wouldn't my biopsies have shown CIN? Gosh sorry I'm rambling away, I just can't focus properly to type a message that makes any sense! Maybe I should go to bed.... so scared of not sleeping that I might just sit reading until I drift off. Sorry if I'm sounding negative, just finding this really tough xXx Thank you for reading x
Aug 2013 - turned 25, clear smear result Jan 2015 - smear taken as part of routine 'full body' health check-up - results show HPV 16 high risk, and CIN 1 confirmed Jan 2015 - colposcopy, CIN 2 confirmed, biopsy taken - results inconclusive, return in 6 months for another colposcopy July 2015 - 6 mth repeat colposcopy - abnormal cells seen, biopsy taken, and smear July 2015 - smear results show HPV 16 moderate changes, biopsy result inconclusive (again) - lletz carried out. Awaiting results, due in 2 weeks
The waiting is the worst part :-/ you just need to keep focused and take one day at a time, throwing yourself into work or a project at home maybe???. I found when waiting for my biopsy results I would be stressed till the postman came and as soon as he had been and no letter arrived I could relax a little until the next morning. My fiancé loved Sunday's as I wasn't sitting watching the letter box. I really hope that the 2 weeks fly by for you, and I know it is hard but do not Google just stay on here reading the threads as everyone is in the same boat and even if chatting to someone only helps a little it's better then nothing. after talking to people on here just before my treatment it really calmed my nerves a bit. How are you feeling now Kh27?? X x
Hi all, I've replied to a couple of other posts lately so sorry if i repeat myself. The colposcopy dept have a space free Tuesday, so if i can bring myself to do it under local, in i go! Gonna have to swap my anxiety pills tho as they slow down heart rrate and am i right in thinking they give you adrenaline which speeds it up? A heart attack on top of all this sure would be fun!! I've read (damn you google!!) that the shot makes your heart beat mega fast- is it awful?! I'm taking diazepam for that day instead! The colpo nurse thought i was on crazy meds all the time and i swear she didn't believe me when i told her this is the first time i've been prescribed anything like that. As I've said before, i had a tough time psychologically when i gave birth to my son- it went very differently to how i had planned, i was left completely alone for 3 hours and the midwife who eventually showed up was a bitch! I thought i'd laid those demons to rest when i did hypnobirthing with my daughter but all this has set me off!! SophieB88, i totally recommend hypnobirthing when you have your baby on the other side of this, especially for someone who probably doesn't associate hospitals with good stuff! Hope everyone ok xxx
Maybe you should go on Tuesday and see if you can do it?? At least it will be done and the waiting time will be less before you get answers. When I had mine they didn't say anything about the anaesthetic having adrenaline in and I didnt notice my heart beating faster but to be fair is was beating pretty fast because I was nervous any way. Xx
I hope you're feeling ok today.. I've read through your posts and glad to see I'm not the only one feeling this way! I paid privately to have a smear done as was too young to have it under nhs, despite the doctor booking one in for me as I have the symptoms of CC! The nurse wouldn't do it though as said the lab would chuck it out due to my age at the time (23). My first smear came back with low changes and so did the follow up one 6 months later. A colopscopy then showed CIN3 so I had my lletz done on Tuesday under LA. Don't get me wrong, it wasn't the most pleasant of experiences but it definitely wasn't the worst. My advice is def take the LA option if they can get you in quicker as it means less time worrying in the long run. I'm currently waiting on my results but I've pretty much convinced myself I have cc due to my symptoms (pain during sex, bleeding after sex, spotting, abnormal discharge, back pain) and now I've just found out my kidneys aren't functioning properly and I'm worried that its because of cc. I know I sound absolutely daft and probably everything will be fine but that's what I keep worrying about and I don't want to tell anyone else my actual god honest fears as they will prob think I'm nuts and also don't want them to worry more.
Bottom line is though Hun, go get the procedure done, get it out the way so you can find out the results quicker. They will probably be fine for both of us and we will look back at this and think how silly we were getting so worked up but for now, this forum is here to support every one of us with all our worries and fears and at very least you can talk to someone on here that is feeling how you are feeling!
Hi, I've taken diazepam today as dr said to take one today to see how it makes me feel before tmw so sorry if i ramble evem more than usual or dont make sense at all! Be forewarned i feel a bit gloomy and dramatic- so no change really!! Just bought an attractive goody bag of painkillers and sanitary pads so looks like i think i can do it and I might take some vicks with me so i cant smell the burning of my own flesh! I fully expect to embarrass myself even more tmw by crying, asking morbid questions and generally being a terrible patient. I feel angry with myself for not going for a smear sooner but i hate them soo much and i love a statistic- cc is really quite rare, something like 1% of women affected so i suppose i fancied my chances. I optimistically, maybe narcissistically thought that if i hate this stuff so much, surely fate wouldn't deal this to me. Go figure. I know i'm talking like i've already been diagnosed and i in no way want to be dismissive of people going through so much worse, i really don't. My boss asked if i was feeling nervous earlier and i just thought, 'nervous' doesn't touch what i'm feeling. I feel like i'm going to be mutilated but i know i have to do it, have to trust that even if its not there yet, my odds of developing this disease can't be gambled with anymore. I'm worried i have cancer. But i'm also worried about the future, about feeling normal, about sex, about 6 monthly checks, about ending back in that chair!! Xxx
