Cervical Punch Biopsy - worried by what I saw on screen

I have had a HR HPV positive result for the last three smear tests, and the last smear test taken also came back with borderline cell changes result. I am 40 years old (and have three children).
I was invited to a colposcopy today, and I didn’t overthink it/tried not to be too concerned, especially as they cited the changes were borderline, so to be honest wasn’t too worried going in today.
During the colposcopy the nurse did a good job of distracting me, so I missed the first part on the screen, but when I looked to see what the consultant was doing, I was really surprised to see what I saw. There were an area or two which were bleeding (though am not sure how much he had already poked around), and there seemed to be white lines/patterns on the cervix. I did ask whether the bleeding normal, which I think one of the nurses said yes. The consultant pointed out the area where the changes were and said he would take a biopsy, though gave the impression of not being too concerned (appreciate that could have just been to not panic me though).

To be honest, whilst I was relatively calm before, after seeing the screen, I did freak out. Annoyingly (as I was quite stunned by what I saw) I didn’t really ask any questions, like if they had put any solution on the cervix (which I had read they might), what the the white lines/patterns on my cervix could be, or just well anything along the lines of was what I was seeing something to get concerned about/if it was normal etc… I also know it was magnified, so I don’t really have a gauge of how big that area was.
I then made the bad mistake once home, of scanning images on google from colposcopies and made myself even more scared.
Part of my brain has questioned - if it was that bad, wouldn’t they have not taken more tissue than a punch biopsy then and there/ or done more treatment in that appointment (per the NHS website). Am still really worried though, which is why I thought I’d message here.

I honestly thought if they were borderline cell changes I literally wouldn’t be able to see anything on the screen, and am not really sure what I did see. If anyone has any advice/words of comfort, I’d be really grateful - or if you could let me know if it is probable that the consultant would have taken more/done more today, if he was really worried.
My mum suggested calling them tomorrow if I am really stressed, but I know that they probably wouldn’t say much but to just wait for the results.
Thank you! Appreciate the message is probably part of a freak out(!), and I do know whatever the results, at least I have been seen and can get treatment, but obviously now quite worried and just wished I’d asked more questions!

Hi @Lujh

This is reminding me so much of my first colposcopy lol i had borderline change smear result and even looked at CIN pictures from google prior to the colposcopy so i could be prepared and know what i was looking at… my whole cervix lit up like a christmas tree once the solution was applied (abnormalities arnt usually seen until they apply the solution) and what looked like a cut/line that was bleeding in the top right, from what i saw on the screen (exactly how you described it) and compared it to pictures i full on convinced myself i had the most severe changes at the very least, when taking my biopsy my colposcopist even said “hmm im just gonna take a biopsy” whic didnt help lol… I got my biopsy results after an agonizing 2 weeks, and to my relief the samples just showed CIN1 and a cervical ectropion

To us, an untrained eye, when we see what we do on the screen its instant panic and we convince ourselves of the worst, if they suspected anything more than CIN at the very least they are supposed to tell us, most of the time if this was suspected they remove it there and then, they call this “see and treat” as the LLETZ is also a type of biopsy aswell as a treatment xx

Hello, thank you so much for replying! Yes it also didn’t help that I saw the consultant give the nurse a look - though I know I am obviously massively over reading everything (even when she said I’d get the results in 2-3 weeks, I wondered why they wouldn’t be longer given that everywhere else seems to be 4+weeks, unless it was concerning).
Am feeling a bit more pragmatic today - knowing that whatever is going on, I’ll get treatment for it, which is only a good thing. Will try to stop googling and just wait for the results now… thanks again for your reply, feeling less panicky! x

Hi @Lujh, any update on your results?

Hello, yes I got the results 2-3 weeks after the biopsy. I was told that thankfully there was no sign of cancer or CIN, which was great news, it did however pick up the HPV changes, and am back to HPV primary screenings.
So (obviously) the HPV patch I saw on the screen is still there - I know it can resolve on it’s own, but wish there was some definite action I could take to get rid of it. TBH a lot has been going on for me otherwise in life this year, which in some ways has meant I haven’t dwelt on it, but in other ways, wish I had made time to research properly and look at supplements etc (though I am taking bog standard immunity supplements and vits).
I did start another thread on here, asking about having the HPV vaccine as I’d read some stuff about it kickstarting your immune system to get rid of it, but that was disputable…

So grateful for this forum and all the advice and discussions though. Hope you’re ok x

@Lujh that’s great news! I didn’t realise that the white patch could be HPV changes rather than CIN. Would they not do a LEEP procedure for a HPV patch, even if it gets larger?

I’m taking AHCC after doing some reading on this group. Only been taking it a week so can’t report of any results yet but I’m feeling hopeful. I’ve also read good things about Papilocare. X