cervical cancer stage 4b metastatic

Hi, I am new here so please let me know if I'm not doing this right.

End of Nov 2013 my 35 yr old daughter wasn't feeling well. doctors treated her for a urine infection. She did not get better , beginning of Dec 2013  our local dr sent her for an ultrasound of her kidneys. They found a blocked kidney , she was sent to a urologist who as soon as he saw the results said the kidney was not the problem it was the cervix and would have to get the gyno team to go in after,  they put in stents to both kidneys to get them working and then the gyno went in , took biopsy of cervix and suspected cervical cancer. Results came back it was cancer. Two weeks later she was sent  to Peter Mac, our capital city cancer centre, and had PET scan. Xmas eve we got the results. STAGE 4B metastatic cerical cancer that had spread to pelvic bone and lymp nodes. Uncureable. We were devasted. Few days later 4 high doses of raditation 2 times a day for 2 days. Two weeks later started chemo. Cistplatin and Paclitaxel. First lot was bad. 5 days in massive infection ended up in hospital for 5 days and had right arm nerve damage. Second lot she handle better for the first week, then right arm nerver damage again that is not settling down. and 11 days in severe swelling in right leg from hip to toes and now they have found a blood clot in the same leg. She has constant pain in her left leg from the cancer and now this clot in the right leg. She can't walk or move .She is in so much pain and today back at dr's was told that the swelling and pain in her leg and nerve damage in her arm will prpbably be permenant. She is about to give up,. HOW CAN I HELP HER AND WHAT ADVICE  DO I GIVE WHEN SHE ASKS. HELP PLEASE I DO NOT KNOW WHAT TO DO. Also she has 3 children aged 14,16,and 18.thanks in advance .

Hi. I couldn't read your post and not write. Its all happened so fast and seems relentless. The drs must believe they are treating your daughter to relieve symptoms. All you can do is be there every step, supporting her as best you can. Some days I do things one after another on autopilot, just to get through the day, and what keeps me going is the ones I love being there with me. There is a trust and believe post on this site, it's helped some people. I send you my love and support. People on this site will be here for you and your daughter when you need us. I hope you have a specialist nurse or MacMillan contact. They will be able to help you with financial and practical matters. Life is so unfair. You must be at your wits end. I don't know what else to write, except I am praying for you all. Much love x

Hi, like pkjpi I couldn't read and not reply.  I wish I could have some magic answers to reassure you.  Your daughter will need her family and friends around her and there is no one like your mum, I wish my mum was still around.  All you can do is give her lots of love and support, be there for her at all times which I'm sure you will be.  Never underestimate the power of a hug and a cuddle, its a wonderful feeling when someone wraps their arms around you.

Hopefully the effects of the treatment will ease a bit soon.  The word I always repeated to myself was courage.  You will both need lots of it but its amazing what strength you can find when you feel ready to give up.  Be kind to yourself too, this will obviously take its toll on you so make sure you look after yourself as well as your daughter.  

You will find lots of love and support on this site, I know I did.  Macmillan will be wonderful.  Your daughter will have an assigned nurse to contact but you can also have contact with Macmillan through the website.  They can give lots of practical and emotional support as indeed the Jo's Trust people will too.

Sending you lots of love & hugs, please don't ever feel alone, we are here for you.



Hello turtle - I'm so sorry to hear this devastating news about your daughter.  It has to be so heartbreaking for you and your family.  

I wish I could tell you what to say to her, how to help her  and how to encourage her not to give up - it's so difficult. You know how serious this is so how can you tell her everythings going to be ok when you're not sure in your heart that it is....  Her treatment seems to be taking it's toll on her and this must make things so difficult.  I've often heard people say that the treatment is worse than the disease.  It certainly seems to be the case for your daughter.  If only this bad spell would end, she could enjoy the benefits of the treatment and have some precious family time.  The treatment is seriously strong stuff - that's why she's so ill, it's not from the cancer but from the treatment.    

I'm sure she has a will to get throught this, to be here for her children & family.  That is what the treatment will give her - precious time to spend with her children, family & friends.  It is a very, very difficult time for all of you.   I pray that this stage of treatment & it's side effects will end and you & your daughter get back to some 'normality'.

God Bless


Thank you for your reply. I guess  I am just after information about  treatments and side effects from others with stage 4b . I don't know if the treatment is working and some of the side effects have been bad. We are in Australia and are so far behind in cervical cancer treatment. So any information from others having similar treatment would be great. Thank you for your kind words and support.

Thank you to everyone who has replied.

Hi, thank you for your reply. We are in Australia and we don't seem to have the support services here to answer all our questions. We are behind in cervical cancer treatments in Australia compared to the rest of the world. We read about all the success stories but most of them are from overseas patients, or Australian patients that have had to go overseas to get the best treatments. Any advice, or information would be greatly appreciated. Every time we find a story with a new drug or new drug combination it always seems to be overseas and not tried or approved here in Australia, it is very frustrating knowing there are treatments that work and patients that have survived . Once again , I thank you for all your help.

Thank you for your kind words . It is so frustrating and heartbreaking not being able to help her and make it all go away. We will continue to keep reading , looking for answers and treatment options and I know we will not give up. My beautiful daughter just had her 36th birthday and has just put her picture here on this site, "Jo's trust selfie ". She does not know I have been on here. I am  so proud of her , her strength , courage and commitment to fight this is amazing, and every day I look at her and wonder how she does it. She is so very brave and never complains about her cancer pain , blood clots, nerve damage to her arm, swelling of both legs, skin damage from the radiation and chemo side effects. I love her so much. Thank you for listening xx