Can't help but worry

I had my colposcopy last Thursday and had 3 punch biopsies taken (routine at my clinic if there are clear abnormalities). My cervix is mainly covered in abnormal cells (a lot of it turned white but it wasn't bumpy. It was whiter in the middle and more transparent white across the outside of the abnormality. Any idea what CIN this might be?  I am guessing it is much worse than what the borderline smear suggested, at least CIN 2. They said the abnormality is quite wide spread (which I could see). What worries me even more is my last smear came back borderline but HPV negative 3 years ago. They put me back on routine recall so I didn't worry about it. Now it makes me feel like my cervix has probably been like it over 3 years and the negative HPV could have been a false negative. I have had no symptoms at all for the last 3 years. What if it is worse? The nurse told me it is not cancer and to try not to worry while I wait for my results but it is easier said than done. They asked when I was away and said they'd treat me when I come back if I need it.


I keep thinking what if it is actually cancer and what if need an historectomy? I have no children yet out of choice as I wanted to enjoy my 20's by going travelling, etc before starting a family. I plan to have kids in my 30's but feel I might have ruined chances of ever being a mum by not having kids earlier. My partner like me doesn't want  kids  until he is in his 30's. He is getting fed up of me worrying about it, says I am over reacting and he can't put up with it. I am actually starting to feel depressed. He tells me to live for now and forget about it.  It is putting a strain on our relationship. Only him, my mum, sister and best friend know about what I am going through.


Thanks xx

Hi I doubt very much the nurse would tell you it wasn't cancer unless she was sure. I was told it definitely was cancer at my colposcopy so please try not to worry too much. You'll probably, at most, have a LLETZ & that'll be it.

Good Luck!

Clare xxx


I, like you had a borderline smear and high risk HPV. When I asked my consultant what she thought at the end of the colposcopy, she said probably CIN1 or CIN2, which is why she took biopsies (they will treat CIN2 but not CIN1 as it often sorts itself out)

As Clare said, I think it's highly unlikely that the nurse would have said "it's not cancer" unless she was sure. Try to remember that these doctors and nurses are looking at this stuff all day, every day, so can probably take an educated guess at what it is. I'm sure the "it's worse" comment just relates to it appearing to be a higher CIN level at the colposcopy than the smear might have suggested. The other thing to remember is that the smear doesn't get a huge number of cells, so while it'll pick up if something isn't quite right, it might not give enough info to allow a definitive answer. The biopsies give them more to look at, so they will be able to confirm.

That they are waiting on biopsy results and didn't treat you on the day may well mean that, although it's a large area, it could be CIN1. They don't want to do any unnecessary treatments, so if they're not sure they will wait for the results to make sure it really is CIN2 before they get you in for a LLETZ.

Try not to worry, it'll be a bit of a wait for results, but once those come in you'll at least know what needs doing.

x x




hi, the same as what others have said, if nurse has said its not cancer then I would feel positive about it.   i just wanted to say that even if they had found something, try not to worry too much about how long etc, there doesn't appear to be an obvious tumour anyway so you will be good.  Also, even if it was worse case scenario, they can work together with you on ways to treat which means you can still have children so try not to be so hard on yourself and beat yourself up with worry.  I am sure you'll be all good xx