Can't have sex

Me again.... :)

More advice needed ladies if you don't mind.....

I'm 9 weeks post vaginal trachelectomy and we tried to have sex today...awful fail :(

We used lots of lube but the entrance to and walls of my vagina are completely felt like someone was poking a finger into a partially healed wound. It wouldn't barely go in and the pain was horrendous. It literally felt like raw, peeled skin inside. 

I'm a very sexual person and I'm wondering what the hell is wrong down there?! I've tried to even put my finger in and the pain is horrendous and it feels like there's no room. 

Any thoughts??? Any similar experiences?? 

Sarah xxx

Hi Sarah 

I didn't personally have this issue. Sex was fine after 8 weeks or so. everyone heals at different rates though and your 'bits' have been through a lot !

I would give your CNS a call though, just in case you have a bit of an infection.

hows everything else going? Was your MLD helpful?

Hi Sarah,

I've no experience of trachylectomy but having had chemo/rads & brachy I'm anticipating similar issues. I have been given dilators to start using in a few weeks time to help ease the way as it were. Maybe it may be worth asking if they may work for you also. Definitely speak to CNS they may be able to help.

Hope you get things sorted

Rach x

Thanks girlies....I'm really wondering if part of the problem is from when they pulled the gauze packing out of my vagina one day post op.....the pain was the worst I've ever felt (and I've had both my jaws broken and reset!!) felt like they'd ripped all the skin from the inside at the time. I've been really sore around the entrance down there when wiping etc since surgery but that's reduced very recently hence attempting sex.

My MLD is going well so leg hasn't got any worse and it feels less painful and full post drainage. I've bought myself some under boob to knee Spanx things to try to contain it which really help too...sweaty but :) Fun and games!! But on the plus side they make me eat less as I can't expand my belly so weight loss here I come...ha :)!! 

On a positive note with that though...I saw a GP last week who said that he had lymphedema in one leg 5 yrs ago following groin node removal and he now only has a very mildly swollen foot...he says it rarely bothers him so fingers crossed!! I know I had my pelvic ones taken not my groin but it made me feel better!

I will ring my CNS tomorrow about my poor downstairs! Had more sobbing today to add to the last few days!!!

Hugs! I'll let you know what she says!! Xx


Sorry to hear you've an added frustration to what you're already going through. Definitely contact your CNS and see what advice they can offer xx


I had a trachelectomy last August and I did experience some similar feelings to those that you're describing, it settled down fairly quickly but as lots of people have already said, it's probably worth calling your CNS.

If it makes you feel any better, the only last change for me is that (I apologise for this possibly being too much information) my boyfriend says that the angle of entry has slightly changed! This just makes me laugh.  There have also been some really positive changes in terms of our emotional connection because he was incredible whilst I was poorly.


Ruthie x


Ive not managed to speak to her as she's on holiday...I'll have to try to get hold of one of the others but I might just wait till she's back on Monday...I know I trust her opinions! might have been the angle I was spooning as I thought that would be less deep so as not to annoy the top but maybe I'll have to try a different way! My partner has been awesome really strengthens your bond going through all this crap. I was super worried I'd be worrying about him straying during all this but I know now that we're the closest we've ever been...I'm very lucky. I'm glad you've had a good experience with this too!

I'll speak to my CNS as soon as I can then maybe wait another couple of weeks to try again! God it used to be so easy ;)!!!


Hi there I had a radical hysterectomy and then brachytherapy once I had recovered so a whole array of treatment designed to ruin your sex life lol. Just give it time, I never used the dilator or any of that stuff I just battled through, slowly but surely and now my sex life is no different to how it was before. There will be some scar tissue and there's a particular lube you can get that helps to soften it, ask your cns it's very expensive but the doc can give you on prescription it's specifically designed for scar tissue. I'll try and find the name for you and get back to you I was told regular water based lubricants wouldn't help much. 


Charlene xx

Hi Charlene,

That would be great if you could get the name :) the pain calmed down again so we tried again yesterday...managed to get it in at least but the entrance is still very sore and if he goes right the way up its not comfortable to say the least!!! Trying to have sex whilst avoiding the top and keeping the angle neutral at entry is not much fun if I'm honest!!! I just want to feel sexy again!!!! Bloody nuisance but at least it's slightly better than last week....will just have to keep trying!!