Hi. I am new to this site and have been recommended to use this forum to speak with such lovely people to help and advise. Here is my story...I do hope you can help me....
I can't seem to get the 'c' word out of my head. Guess I'm looking for that bit of reassurance from others .....It has been a whirlwind of a few months...I was diagnosed with cervical cancer on 29 Jan 2015. Had my first LLETZ two weeks later, then was told they weren't sure they had removed all the tumour so had to have a second LLETZ to find out if the cancer was bigger and/or if my lymph nodes needed removing. I had my follow up 24 April and was told that there was no more cancer but there were high grade CGIN cells, but they have removed them all too and I didn't need my lymph nodes removing. I was then just told I was being discharged and to wait 6 months for my next colposcopy. This wait is going to drag! I was apparently 'lucky' that they caught the cancer early. All I seem to do is continually think about cancer and wish I could have a spare moment of not thinking about it.
My head is full of questions...Will it return? What if they've missed some cells? How quickly does the cancer spread? Are cancer cells grouped in clumps or are they sporadic? I have so many questions that are taking over my brain and all I want to do is make it stop...I take it these feelings are 'normal' but can anyone shed any light as to how I deal with things and how to move forward.
Does anyone else have feelings of 'is this real'...it has happened so quickly and because I have not had any symptoms of such, or anything visible to see, I am struggling to come to terms with the fact that I had cancer...and it could come back.
I am also suffereing from endometriosis and waiting for surgery to save my only ovary. If this is successful, then I will hopefully, be going for IVF but my age is going against me (38 in a couple of months). Such a long rollercoaster ride coming up and all I can think about is...do I want a hysterectomy to get rid of any chances of the cancer returning..but my chances of having a baby will be gone...if the cancer has returned when they operate on my ovary, there is a high chance of the cancer spreading. Is anyone else had similar experiences that you could share how you deal with things please.
Thank you for letting me rant...I don't know who else to turn to xx Cathryn xx