Sorry in advance if this is long.
There is a lady I met (early thirties) and we started seeing each other which was going well.
She had a couple of bad experiences, first her dad dying then being attacked at work and I know she started feeling a bit down but seemed to be coping.
I booked us a few days away, somewhere nice and secluded, for her Xmas and birthday as well as to help with the bad experiences.
A few days before we were due to go away she had some full scans done as a final tests to see if previous cervical cancer was no longer there. The scans showed nothing so we were going to celebrate but a couple of days later, just before the weekend, she was told to go straight into hospital as her blood tests were very high.
She was then admitted the next day for an operation to remove an ovary. The first time she had cancer they found it was in an advanced state and removed her cervix then the second time they had removed her womb.
She was still adamant that she was going to go away on the Monday but instead had to spend the weekend in Intensive Care then a week in Isolation.
I was texting her friend while she was in (who had her phone) to keep informed as if she was OK (just family allowed in)
She was due for 3 weeks of intensive chemo and was let out for a weekend to see her family before it started but was rushed back in on the Saturday.
She asked that we cool things a little while she was going through this and I said I would be there for her and wanted to see her but just her to let me know. She also said that she could have to go back in again for a further, larger operation??
Instead of the 3 weeks chemo she walked out of hospital and instead agreed to go back as an outpatient.
The texts were still OK until Xmas … a nice one from her with kisses on then she had a bad chemo session on Boxing day and rushed back into A&E the next day.
Since then she wont tell me what happened in hospital, what her prognosis is etc and says she wants to be alone.
Her family had a house full on New Years Day and she just said she wished them all to go.
I told her I understand about her having the cancer and depression (she saw a councillor) and told her I ws not going anywhere and would be here for her whenever she wanted… sent her a gift in the post.
She told me not to send anything else and she wanted to be alone … told me she had changed but wont tell me anything more.
Is this type of thing common with people having been diagnosed with cancer/ depression especially those that have had it come back again more than once?
The cervical cancer this time was discovered by blood tests but not on the scans … what does this show?
Once the chemo and treatment for depression is over do sufferers often come back to those they have pushed away?
I have told her I don’t believe she has changed from what she told me she was wanting from us before she went into hospital until now without something serious happening in hospital or is happening to her and will not give up on her.
Told her I will leave her and not pester her but will be here for her for when she gets through this… am I being selfish or wrong?