I had my smear in July a year after my previous smear which came back hpv+. My results showed low grade changes so I was sent to colposcopy in September. Results came back as cin1 and invited back in one year.
The relief from this was short lived. I think about it most days, what if it’s getting worse, what if I get cancer etc. Every little twinge or spotting I get I link to the cells. I’ve messed around with contraception since July trying diff pills, bleeding constantly then no bleeding. So I don’t even know what my cycle is anymore. Basically down there just seems messed up.
I can’t bring myself to have sex with my partner anymore because I just feel so disconnected from my body. I’m scared sex will make me bleed and send my brain into overdrive. I’ve been to the gp before about my anxiety when awaiting my initial results and was basically told to wait it out.
I suppose I’m not looking for a set answer to this. I just take a lot of comfort in this forum and it’s helped me through a lot of very anxious days xx