Can someone help me my story

Hi I do have a long winded story I am 37 and have never had a smear till this year I was always so scared to have them as I was abused as a child so would have a mental breakdown at just the thought never mind doing one.

it came to a point where after 6-7 years of painful sex and 10 months of heavy bleeding in between my cycle I finally found the courage to go march this year the dic had to give me tabs to stop my bleeding so she could do the test I was a total mess during and for 10 days+.finally I put it to back of my mind then got a letter saying I had SD(sorry don't know how to spell it lol)

my doctor rang me the same day to go for chat that afternoon she explained I had to have a colposcopy as I was a mess during the smear she gave me some pills to calm me for the day of it they never worked I was shacking and sanxiously then on the way there I noticed it was a male doctor to say I was petrified is understatement boy bf just shouted at me when I said I could not do it if a male was going down there I got to the hozy there was no lady docs in arh lucky the dic was so nice and let a female nurse do it while he looked over on the tv thing as she needed so many under her belt to qualify he told me he thought I would have to have the cone op sure as eggs r eggs he was right I had the cone op and got results that I have cin3 and high grade cgin because my results came in as they was doing the July mdt meeting I have to wait till 21.8.13 it's an age my mind is all over place can't eat sleep or function proper so I went to see my dic today and she said she thinks the will strongly recommend a radical hysterectomy this now scares me again am I going to have other test first eg MRI scared having to go through the change don't really know what it is part from hot flushes and mood swings tho sex is not a big thing for me as like I said it been do painful for what seems like forever my partner does if they taking part of my flu away how can you still have sex 

is there a chance still that I could get cancer if its all taken away or will it mean I won't so don't need these examinations anymore 

sorry for long winded I could go on with the questions just want some answers from people who have been here as no one seems to understand I feel likit they treating my problems liktether are nothing I feel so alone right now and no were to turn if anyone out there that can help please do I would really appreciate it many thanks in advance xxx

Hi Dizzy,


I'm sorry that you are going through this awful ordeal, especially as you went through so much as a child. The worse part by far with this process is the waiting, everyone feels the same way as your imagination runs wild with "what if's". I know it's easier said than done but do try not to panic too much as you don't know yet whether you will need a hysterectomy or they may even do another cone op instead? I can't really help regarding hysterectomy as my treatment was chemoradiation because I have full blown cancer (despite regular clear smears!!) I do know though from reading other ladies stories on here that you will still be able to have sex even if you do have a hysterectomy and you will still need regular check ups. They won't just operate and send you home without regular follow up's. If you read through the forums on here I'm sure that you will find other people with similar stories to yours. Keep us updated with your progress and please try not to worry too much xx


Sue xx

Thank you sue for your reply the forum has helped I have read so many stories on here that give hope and good advice like you said I am still going to be on my mind most of the time I will let you know how things go.

i hope all goes well with you and thank you again for your reply hugs jayne xxxx

Sorry to read your story :( not the best of times, I hope you have support from your partner. Is there any drop in centres that maybe helpful. I am going to find my local one, as I feel it may help and meet people who have or going through the same. 

I can not advise on any thing, you have mentioned as I myself are learning.

Worry doesn't help harder said than done We all know to well. I believe you are in good hands medically and research now for CIN also cervical cancer is more advance and cures better than the 1990's 

Thinking of you xxxx 

Thank you Louise007

I dont know about any groups near me as that would be great to talk to people in the same boat not that I wish this on anybody

my partner just treats it like its nothing and just one of those things sometimes you just need to get things of your chest I guess it's a man vs female thing lol

thank you for your support means so much that people have taken the time to reply and read what I haxxx put xxx