Firstly, apologies If this has been covered in another post. :)
I need advice and dont really know where to start.
5 years ago I was given a result of severe dyskariosis (sp). I was referred to the Royal Hospital where they told me I would have to have a leep or other treatment (memory hazy) in short, I never went back. I suffered a lot of losses in the years after & the longer it's been, the more scared I am of going. Mainly as I was told I was cinIII and a friend said it was one step away from cancer.
Is this true? By leaving treatment for cin3 so long,, is it likely I've let it go too far?
Im 32yo with a 9yo son & fantastic bf .. I daren't go in case I ruin everything
Hiya :) The worst thing is avoidance! You are strong and brave and need to make an appointment tomorrow. Smear tests are screening tests to prevent cancer developing - this is their purpose. The purpose of the Colposcopy is the same- I know myself it's not the test that's scary it's the result, but it's designed to pick up any changes and deal with them before they develop into anything more severe. The only people that can advise you properly are your health professionals. You need to take the first step and contact them! The worst part is the unknown and the worry. The longer you leave it the more worried you will be and the less chance they will have to help, if there is something they need to get rid of. I had what they thought was severe dyskariosis after my first smear and had the LLETZ this afternoon to remove the cells. I was petrified and whilst I have to wait for the results of the biopsy, which is scary I'm not going to lie, I feel much better for being one step closer. Take the first really important step and get in touch with someone tomorrow. There are some amazing women on here who will be able to provide you with a much better response I'm sure, but your certainly not alone! Speak to someone in the morning! Sam x
Thanks so much for replying so quick Sam, youre totally right in that avoidance is the worst. Unfortunately it's my biggest flaw..
I tend to bury myself into helping everyone but myself & add that to insomnia (regularly months at a time) plus depression currently doing good on 150mg sertraline, I can't stop thinking about it.
Im worried that I finally getting where I want, happy son, amazing bf of a year & if they say something horrific, I'll lose all that. It's catch22 I know I should but cos it's been growing away (or whatever it does) for over 5 years, im fearing the worst. I dont want to visit thee dark depression again.
Thankyou for being kind Sam, I know ive been stupid, I feel im fighting a war with myself!! X
Please sweetheart, go and have a check-up. Some things get better all by themselves and some things get worse. Lying awake at night wondering which it is gets you nowhere. The bf sounds like a dream, can he not come with you and hold your hand?
I totally understand your fear and reluctance to face this. The fear of dealing with the unknown on your own for all this time is probably worse than a burst of anxiety over some tests which will help establish where you are. You must go and get yourself checked out as soon as you can both for your physical and mental health.
I have been told that lower levels of CIN can resolve themself, however they do not like to let CIN3 go untreated to watch and see. CIN3 is the last pre-cancer grading, but does not mean it will definitely do so, and if it does turn invasive it is supposed to take a really long time (as everyone keeps telling me!)
Yes it is going to be difficult going to get tested and face this, but you will feel better once you know what is going on.
Get your coat, take your lovely bf, or a friend and be brave. Once you have made the leap, commit to going to any follow ups you need (this is where you need the bf/ friend to make sure you do) and make sure you line up something nice to do afterwards to reward you for facing this. If you are really anxious, you could ask for some medication to settle your nerves.
You can do this :-) deep breath, and make the call. Most importantly, be kind to yourself.
