Beside myself

Hi guys. Last year I tested positive for hpv. I had a colposcopy, and then Lletz treatment. Both lots of treatments were awful - they did a biopsy using a blunt tool during my colposcopy - and literally had to rip it out. The clamp shut on me during my Lletz, among other errors, and I ended up in hospital the following day haemorrhaging.
I’ve not been right since, but was told all if the pre-cancerous cells had been removed (had originally been told the cells hadn’t altered, and were not pre-cancerous… then that they had altered and that they had developed rapidly! )
Anyway, had a smear 10 days ago - have just had a letter stating I have high level (severe) dyskaryosis and have to have another urgent colposcopy.
I am absolutely terrified, can’t stop crying, and literally have no one to talk to who understands.
I am so frightened of having these procedures done again after my previous experience. Has anyone else been through this, and found the second time wasn’t as bad. Also, worried sick that they missed cells last time that were precancerous…

Hi kaz, i hope ur okay. While i havent been in your situation I can tell you that while your last colposcopy sounds like it wasnt a pleasant experience at all I really don't believe yyou will go through that again. So many ladies on here have had biopsies and lletz and while they have found oit a bit uncomfortable I havent really seen any comments saying that it was terrible sore. Whoever done your treatment was obviously very rough. I had a colposcopy myself 5 weeks ago and found it no worse than a smear to be honest. I was dreading it but it was fine. I would suggest when you go for the colposcopy tell them how nervous you are and tell them about your previous experience and Im sure they will do their best to make it as comfortable as possible for you. Regarding your cells the last time I would be pretty sure they didnt miss any as they would have wanted clear margins before verifying that all cells had been taken away so please try not to worry about that. The best thing you can do going in for your colposcopy is to relax as much as possible ... while i know its easier said than done it really does make the experience more comfortable x 

I had a horrible experience myself! I went for a colposcopy because my doctor thought I had a tear in my cervi..which was a polyp that she removed but it was so painful and it bled..she told me that I had some abnormal cells..but she did not inform me that the polyps can cause inflammation & abnormal cells. She was horrible, she told me if I have another child that they'd be retarted & that I'd need an abortion! I wanted to weep, then she could not stop the bleeding so she applied pressure which was painful, shoved a tampon up there and sent me packing! I was horrified & have been advised to report her. I'm sorry you too had such an awful experience