Been a while.....

Hello...its been a while since I was here...I should visit more I know.

I, like many others, first came here when I was first diagnosed with Stage 2B CC back in 2009.

Like oh so many it was the start of a journey that would change my whole life.

I read the stories here and they are so many memories.

Good and bad memories.

But here I am in my 4th year and still clear...many scares behind me.

Many times thinking this dreadful thing had returned or moved to a new location.

Terrified to visit the doctor for fear of what I may hear.

Hours spent talking on the phone with my CNS looking for solutions for my troubled thoughts.

Endless invasive tests for Pelvic Radiation Disease....trying to find something that would ease the situation.

Living with the long-term side effects of treatment is a chore in itself.

I have said many times, if I could have lived with the cancer I would have kept it...I never felt the way I do now when I had the cancer. But we know that isnt possible...I probably wouldnt be here now if I hadnt had the treatment.

I cant fault my Oncologist or his CNS. Nor can I complain about the treatment I had or any of the hospitals or their staff.

I thank God each and every day that I am still many have gone and some so very young.

This forum....this was my lifeline in the beginning. Without it and the people in it, I would NEVER have got through what lay ahead of me. I was so scared. But they put mind at ease about the treatment and how I would feel. What to do to help myself. Such fantastic advice and support!!

The day I went for my very first appointment with the radiotherapy girls, a lady from this forum...her name was Suzy...she met me at the hospital and stayed with me all the way through my appointment. I will never forget that!

And when I went back for my treatment, she would come to the ward where I was having my chemo and sit with me...she used to bring me tea and a muffin lol.

I lost touch with that lady and often wonder what happened to her. I would have liked to have thanked her properly.

Im on a new journey now....learning to cope with the changes that my cancer diagnosis and treatment has brought.

Ive been diagnosed with Pelvic Radiation Disease...not life threatening but a chore in itself.

I just have to adjust my life to these changes and learn to live as normal a life as I can. A new normal as my MacMillan nurse says.

I need to move on from cancer..leave it behind. Its in a box with the lid on...but that lid comes of at the slightest opportunity. Its still controlling my life. So now I need to stop that and take control again :)

Im getting lots of help and support to do this. The MacMillan advert on TV really hit home to me...'No-one should face cancer alone'....and its true, they shouldnt.

Lots of changes have happened in my life...I split from my partner of 12 years...he found it difficult to cope with my cancer in one way or another and I always felt he was never there when I really needed him...long story lol

So I just want to say a HUGE thank you to Jo's Trust and its members. Without your support I would NEVER have gotten through this.

Many thanks from the bottom of my heart.




Hi Mary

I just wanted to say thankyou so much for sharing your story. I had tears in my eyes when I’d finished reading it.
It’s so lovely to hear people coming out the otherwise and still clear… It’s always a little niggle in the back of your mind.
And I’m only recently meeting my new post cancer normal… I will say I’ve taken a positive from it… I feel so blessed that I’m surrounded by amazing people and I don’t think I’ll take little things for granted again.

I hope you are well… Continue being strong

Lots of love Em x