Been a struggle to keep positive after 3 years


i am new to this forum. I have googled so many siothers getting advice, this one seemed right as a true supportive charity to cervical cancer. 

I am 34 and for the last 3 years has been a struggle to stay positive. I have been examinfor very 6 months for 3 years and haven't settle in to a normal routine of life. 

i went for a normal pap in 2010. I was shocked to read that my Pap smear result came back boarder line chances. So again went back 6 month for pap and again result came back broaderline. I was told to reschedule another but waited a year as I couldn't deal with how it was making me feel. in all I have up to 4 pap smears until the last letter telling me the wanted to do the vinegar thin. At the hospital, that I happened in 2012 I was told in a letter that I needed to return to the hospital for a biopsy Early this year march 2013. I got another letter telling me that I have CIN2 after 3 years being on a yoyo string :( I have appointment to have the loop thing to take the abnormal cells anyway. I will be having this done on Monday 29th July. This has slighty destroyed the person I am, I don't have much faith in doctors as they har made me wait 3 years and I still feel they are Not telling me the truth. After the first hospital app the biopsy she sailed it all looked fine. Until I got the letter 4 weeks later. 


I am a mother to one child, and want to see him turn into a young man also I want more children. 

Frienda tell me I will be fine as they have been through it and had perfect paps since the loop. But then I hear storys where they go on to have another 2 loops :( 

Please try to stay strong it is very frustrating the waiting is the worse I had a large loop last month I was so scared a whole load of stuff going through my head tho my journey is not over yet I'm sure you will be fine Hun as when I had my colcoscopy they could see I had it bad even before they sent it of so I'm guessing with yours not being so cus able at the clinic is a good sign please try stay positive tho its very hard I will be thinking of you tomoz pls let me know how you get on xxxx

Good luck tomorrow.  Take a painkiller beforehand.  Talk to the doctor there about your fears and they will help you.  The smears did not pick up my CIN2 either and just showed borderline.  The only reason I got sent for a colposcopy after my borderline smear is because I was screened for HPV and tested positive for the high risk type, so I am so thankful to have been sent for a biopsy and treatment.  The fact we have CIN2 and its being treated is good.  My sister had CIN3 and haf a loop.and her follow up test showed they had zapped it all.  Having CIN diagnosis means that abnormal cells have been caught years ahead of yhextime they might develop into cancer and the screening programme, and having regular smears has saved lives.  I hope it goes well for you.x

Thank you both, for your replies we are not alone. So gratetful for the charity forum. I wish every women to have regular smears, it saves lives and we are fortunate to live in a country that offers free health screening.

Today has been awful, a day off work just waiting. As you both are aware i have cin2. It's been a long wait process with 3 hospital appointments over 3 years. I go to the hospital today very emotional And freightened. The doctor examine me with the solution, and sees nothing No bad tissue. And says the biopsy taken last time must had been the only tissue that had cin2.

The doctor then asks what I wanted to do either wait again for a further 6 mths to have the smear or she could do the loop. this has gone on for 3 years a emotional roller coaster. So I mention that it isn't fair making me wait and prolong and such I may go on to develope cin3 or worse?? the doctor goes ahead with the loop. My breathing went erratic with the anaesthetic and my legs and body shake uncontrollable . Very tearful but thankful for this website and glad young girls are now being immunised against the harmful HPV strains. I have to wait another 6 weeks for result more of my life on hold :( 

This waiting game is awful I guess it's a good sign that they could treat you then n there when I had my colp I was told I wud have to have the cone more than likely I did and now been told i prob will have to have RH so scared I pray your results are good I do feel positive for you I hope I am right please let me knobi stay strong like you did xxxx

Hello Dizzyrus1001
Must be very tough going for you, I wish more women would know how serious  having a pap is. My friend waited 10 whole years to have one and when she did was dianosged with cin3 high grade MRI ect and now been told chemo is the form of treatment. 
I hope you have lots of loving people around you hugs really do go along way. When will you know if your are going to have RH treatment? 
After having the loop on Monday I don't know why but in work today, I felt very emotional tearful. Yes I have a hard job. But to cry is never like me. Can the loop make you hormonal I wonder?