Bad paps for years and never went to the next step...

I am a 25 year old wife and mother to a 4 and 1 year old. I've had bad pap smears since I was 16 with a few normal ones. I had one and a HPV high risk for cervial cancer result before I got pregnant with my 1 year old. My OBGYN did this thing when I was about 20 weeks pregnant where she put a dye on my cervix. I had another pap at 6 weeks post baby and it came back with dyspepsia so she said I needed to come in for a biopsy. But I got scared and busy and didn't. I got an IUD a few months later and have had it for about 5 months now and I've had some spotting. I've always had cramping and normal periods with no spotting. Deep intercourse is painful and has been for a while. After the spotting recently and after sex I made an apt for Wednesday. I am really scared and worried. I didn't take this seriously until now and I worry its to late and ill have cancer and it will kill me. I'm sure I sound like a total idiot but I was... I thought it was nothing. Now I'm so scared.