Bad experience :(

Hi everyone. Im so glad i found this site.
Today i have been for a colposcopy and it was the worst experience of my life, im sorry if this scares people. Its been a week exactly since i was told my results from my smear came back abnormal. Today i had 3 biopsys taken and on the 3rd i had a very heavy bleed which the dr couldnt stop and i ended up getting stitched. Sorry for tmi but i could literally feel the blood running out from me. I was so emotional about being in that chair in the first place that this just sent me over the edge. I cant explain the worry and fear i have had since getting this 2nd smear test result back (my first was normal) but im sure many people on here have felt the same. I try not to think about it all too much because if i do i just end up in tears.
I just know i dont want to die.
Best case scenario now is that i dont need further treatment but i just have a bad feeling. Possibly lletz… maybe? I just know i want to be out cold for it. Ive never been put under and this also scares me but i would rather not feel anything than be sat in the chair with all those emotions again.
I have had a lot of time to think this past week or so and i dont know how people much worse off than myself carry on. Im scared this experience has changed me forever. I just want to be normal again. I dont want to leave my daughter without a mum.
Fingers crossed. Thinking of everyone else going through this.
Kelly
Age 28
Mummy to Ella, 2 and 1/2
Wife to a soldier

I'm new to all of this and awatining my first colposcopy, so I can't help with answers, but I just wanted to send you a huge (((hug))), lots of positive vibes and good luck xx

HI, same here I'm so sorry that your experience was so bad, just want to give you a hug, my LLETZ experience was not so bad just uncomfortable and the nurses were fantastic. 

xx 

Thanks - need all the hugs i can get right now.

Since coming on this site i never realised how many women are going through this. Its just such an awful thing but best to catch early i guess? Although some days i just wish i didnt know... the worrying is consuming. Sunflowerkerry what are your options following on?

Xx

Hi, hin

im not sure yet as I have to wait for them to have the MDT meeting regarding my results and thatched bit until the 11 th may so the waiting is the hardest. 

If you know  I think you can deal with it and process what the next steps are, so I'm hoping that it will be furthe check ups but I'm also aware that I could need further treatment.

i totally agree with you about this site I never understood the whole concept regarding abnormal smears, however I think after al the info and support on here it is the best place to post. 

Pleae feel free to message me if you need some support and ket me know how you all get on 

big hugs xx 

Booked in for lletz in 2weeks time. This whole experience is just terrifying. :(

Ive got so many questions but dont have my meeting til next week... mainly the results after lletz is it possible they dont get it all? Does this mean im likely to have these abnormal results in the future once ive had it once? Not looking forward to the recovery either. I know it may sound stupid but ive even been considering not going through with it all as they dont even know if it will turn into cancer and is it worth all this worry and stress and making my life a complete misery when what will be will be.

Im just so confused about everything as ive always been healthy with no illnesses and now all this has happened. Im finding the emotional side very hard to deal with

K xx

Hi

Its definitely worth having the treatment its not worth risking it. I've had a few treatments & biopsies & things but the one I had yesterday was so bad! I've never really been that bothered before but I'm sure I've always had to cough on a needle and have anaesthetic before biopsies but this one yesterday she just did with no anaesthetic & I nearly jumped out of the chair! Afterwards it was so painful felt like I was in labour and I've felt weak and a bit shaky ever since having it, it's scared me now about having anything else so I totally understand where you're coming from! Feel really emotional but stupid at the same time now because I feel like I'm making a fuss about nothing! Whatever needs to be done though, cancer would obviously be worse so you just have to do it I suppose.

 

Xxx

Hi Kelly & everyone else!

I am so sorry you had such an awful experience, I can honestly say this isn't the norm - sometimes it can massively depend on where you are in your cycle, how sensitive your cervix is etc. so it sounds like it was very bad luck for you to have so many issues on the day.

The abnormal cells don't always turn into cancer, but occasionally they do, so it is absolutely 100% better to go for the colposcopies than to risk it, because if you ignore it and it did end up developing into cancer, the treatment options then are much more invasive than a colposcopy/lletz treatment.

When they take the sample and the biopsy, they can tell if they have got all of the abnormalities. If they haven't and they think you need another lletz, be really firm and explain that you had a bad experience and that you'd like them to try a general anaesthetic.

I'm sure it hasn't changed you forever, it's just a very scary and emotional time to go through. If you're concerned or confused about anything, Jo's site has loads of info about cell changes, abnormalities and colposcopies etc. so maybe reading into it a bit more will help you to understand and come to terms with it a bit more easily.

xx

Aww Kelly .

What an awful experience for you. 

I have mine tomorrow and absolutely petrified...and that's having had 6 children!!!

Try to keep strong sweetheart,we are all here for each other.

Hugs

Bren x