Awaiting Colposcopy

Hi, I've just discovered this site from recommendations in my leaflets. I've been having irregular bleeding (I don't have periods) and pain for nearly a year now and after having a smear test the results showed I have HPV and abnormal cell changes and I'm booked in to have my colposcopy 4 weeks today. I have really positive days but I also have pretty rough days thinking about what ifs too. I'm currently going through a not so friendly divorce, having to sell my home and I'm now stressing about this but can't help thinking it's my own fault, I smoked for 15 years (cigarette free for 2 years), maybe I had too many partners in the past and I put off my smear, 2 years overdue! I'm not sure what to ask to be honest but I just wanted to get this off my chest as haven't spoken to anyone really as think people will judge me. Thank you for taking the time to read! 

Hi Hawkeye

Sorry to hear you are struggling with this and going through a rough time at the moment, it can be a really scary thing and make us feel very lonely. you are in the right place in terms of getting questions answered and support from fellow ladies that have had similar experiences.

I will start by saying I had my first smear this year and was also diagnosed with high risk HPV and called back for a colposcopy. I was very nervous about my procedure, but did open up to friends and family about it. It's amazing how many women have been in our position and you only find out when you mention it. So if you feel like you can I'd really encourage you in that. 

I have had many friends tell me they have the same thing or their friends/mothers have etc. It's very common and in my opinion we can  help to normalise it by talkign about it.

I have been lucky and felt no judgement at all from others about my HPV diagnosis. 

I hope your coloposcopy goes well, just relax yourself as much as you can and ask someone in with you for support if you like, they allow you too do that. My nurse could see i was nervous and told me to cough while she took the biopsies so i wouldnt feel any pain, and it worked for me ! 

let us know how you get on and if you have anymore questions!