Hey all.
Just need to have abit of a vent.
Since being diagnosed with cc and being told they think they have removed it all. Iv been for mri scan awaiting results and iv a cone operation booked next month to remove cin3.
I just feel so alone. Everyone iv told about cc is like oh that’s good news they have got it all I bet your so relieved and good job they caught it early.
But I dont feel like I’m out if the woods just yet.
What if the scan finds something.
What if after second operation I don’t get clear margins. Then what.
Then there’s a 6 month wait just to make sure all is still fine.
I feel like I can’t voice my concerns.
Yes I’m greatful my cc was caught early and was in the early stages.
But what now.
I shouldn’t focus on the negative. But just think if I didn’t have to have further treatment then maybe I could relax more.
I know I’m waffling on. So thank you for reading. . Just this is the stuff that keeps me away at night.
I feel ya 
I get it totally. I’ve had my 1st counselling session and I was told that it’s normal. I also said I feel very angry and I very much avoid all things cancer. TV adverts get muted or switched over, I burned all my Macmillan info etc.
My 1st task is to get the anger out in a safe way. So I’m going to write a letter to the cancer. I’ve been told to really give it what for. Use every swear word I know and tell it what I really think.
Then I’ve been asked to every time I’m face with something cancer related I’ve to say either into myself or out loud if I can these words - " Its stage 2, its curable, I’m not terminally ill "
Then we can work on the stage and that is acceptance of the whole situation as it stands in that moment.
Dont know if any of that is of any use to you but it’s good to share.
In the cyber world of Jo’s you’re not on your own.
Hugs xx
